breathless33

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Sturgis, United States
26 years-old
Friday 03 September 1999
single

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Breathless33's favorite FMLs

You wanker!

By Nik - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML

agreeclassic 32 525

vote type 1 4 579

By nosexforthee - 23/01/2015 19:25 - United States - Katy

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

agreeclassic 43 678

vote type 1 8 001

By mybfthecrossdresser - 20/01/2015 15:08 - Australia - Scarborough

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

agreeclassic 36 965

vote type 1 4 009

By royallymessedup - 31/10/2017 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

agreeclassic 47 316

vote type 1 14 011

By clayton - 28/07/2012 00:30 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

agreeclassic 13 518

vote type 1 44 220