jagoober

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Jagoober's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 11/07/2013 14:24 - United States

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

agreeclassic 110 873

vote type 1 13 098

By Anonymous - 10/07/2013 16:38 - United States - Spencer

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

agreeclassic 57 511

vote type 1 8 353

By cristy91 - 10/07/2013 04:01 - United States - Orlando

Today, I made two cakes. One for my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow, the other for my family so they wouldn't eat the birthday cake. I came home to find they ate half of each. FML

agreeclassic 49 272

vote type 1 4 288

cristy91 app_comment_confession_title

cristy91 33

Wednesday 10 July 2013 14:24

Okay, to answer a few questions: yes, the flavors were the same. Yes, my parents knew I'd be baking two cakes. The reason they ate from each is that my grandma put the "family" cake in the fridge without telling anyone, so they assumed the remaining cake was for them (grandma is a little forgetful). No, I can't combine them, I used "half" but it's half for one and a bit more than 1/3 from the other. No, not putting laxatives, I love baking and they bought me more ingredients to use.

Stop lying

By dinosaurman - 07/10/2009 16:07 - Canada

Today, I found out that my sister, who is 16 years older than me, is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

agreeclassic 192 666

vote type 1 10 025

By treegirl - 26/07/2009 05:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

agreeclassic 592

vote type 1 124