Today, my friend suggested our group all go out to a certain...

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By ThirdWheel - 01/07/2018 21:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend suggested our group all go out to a certain place. Everyone was excited and had signed up within five minutes. I would have been happier if I hadn’t been suggesting the same thing for 2 months and been ignored every time. FML

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vote type 1 3

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Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

agreeclassic 32 358

vote type 1 19 884

Today, while mourning my friend's recent passing, my dad told me to shut the fuck up because "worse things are going on in the world". FML

agreeclassic 55 790

vote type 1 4 673

Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML

agreeclassic 56 669

vote type 1 4 366

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

agreeclassic 36 244

vote type 1 2 942

Today, I finally told my mom that it hurts me every time she calls me fat. She got offended that I'm offended. Now our whole entire extended family wants me to say sorry to her and them, because apparently they also call me fat behind my back. I'm a size small by the way. FML

agreeclassic 1 542

vote type 1 128

Today, I was having an in depth discussion with my girlfriend's father about how corrupt journalists are and how our town's paper is the worst paper on the planet. After insulting basically everything about the newspaper, I asked him what he did for a living. He's the editor of the newspaper. FML

agreeclassic 14 750

vote type 1 47 145