By "Boyufd" - 08/12/2019 11:20 Today, I peed myself in front of my crush. FML agreeclassic 74 vote type 1 11 Share Tweet Share
Today, my wife changed her name back to her maiden name. Why? So people would stop asking questions about us. We have been married for 15 years. FML agreeclassic 33 064 vote type 1 2 759
Today, I told the man I've been in love with for 3 years, who also happens to be my boss, how I felt. He responds by filing sexual harassment charges against me. FML agreeclassic 18 797 vote type 1 35 259
Today, my dad and his buddies were hanging out. One of them said to my dad, "Hey! I've heard your son wants to be a doctor! He he he! You better start saving up!" My dad then triumphantly responded, "PAH!!! No problem there. He's an idiot! He probably won't make it to premed!" And yes, he was sober. FML agreeclassic 463 vote type 1 118
Today, I pronounced FAQ as 'fuck' to my boss. I'm not a native speaker. FML agreeclassic 14 765 vote type 1 1 520
Today I found out that my 21-year-old son has been using my face razor on his balls and butthole since he was 13. The best part is that he doesn't actually clean it when he's done; he just wipes the hair off. FML agreeclassic 5 030 vote type 1 466
Today, I was in a grocery store when a little boy ran up out of nowhere, hugged my leg, then said, “Mommy!” I looked down and said, “Hey there, kiddo!” Right then, his actual mom walked up and gave me a look that seemed like it could set me on fire. The kid then looked up at me and said, “You’re prettier than my real mom.” FML agreeclassic 430 vote type 1 78