Today, I found out it's possible in my language (German) to change...

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By thefornicated - 16/02/2019 00:59 - Germany

Today, I found out it's possible in my language (German) to change "I want to hold you" into "I want to f*ck you in the ass" by changing three letters. In one word. Thanks, autocorrect! FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

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Today, I walked into what I thought was my doctor’s new office building for my appointment. I sat down, only to realize five minutes later that I was sitting in a small conference room where they were holding a staff meeting, and not the waiting room I thought it was. I had to wait for the doctor's receptionist to come get me. FML

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Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

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Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

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Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

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Today, halfway through a blowjob, my girlfriend bit my penis because she suddenly decided that she was still annoyed at me for an argument we had last week. FML

agreeclassic 1 392

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