Your everyday life stories

Guy - 17/10/2015 18:23 - United States - O Fallon

Today, the man who fired me from my job became my stepfather. FML

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Stuck

Tabeling101 - 12/12/2016 01:51

Today, I was in Walmart on a motorized cart and got stuck on a clothing rack next to a super hot guy. Panicking, I said "I just had surgery, I'm a new driver." After failing to get myself unstuck he had to pull the clothes rack and I apart. FML

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Scarred4Life - 11/10/2015 03:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while babysitting my nephew, I was looking through a bin of toys, and I saw a fake spider. I picked it up to do a prank with. It wasn't fake. FML

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f_n_fail - 06/12/2016 21:31 - United States

Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML

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jauregz - 25/05/2017 00:00 - Australia - Lalor

Today, my neighbours had an extremely loud party, which began at midnight and didn't end until 6. I know this because I had a 15 minute sleep, seeing as I had to wake up at quarter past. FML

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Florida - 24/11/2016 03:04 - United States - Winchester

Today, when I went to work, my nice coworker gave me a gift basket. And cookies. I had to tell him that I caught his kid keying my car last night. FML

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mayhemily - 21/09/2015 16:22 - Canada - Aurora

Today, I passed out in my kitchen and was woken up by my dog. Not because she was worried about me, but because my body was blocking her food dish. FML

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babs - 07/05/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

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ok then - 31/10/2016 15:55

Today, my sister called my Native American friend a bigot for saying he had no problem with the name "Cleveland Indians". FML

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Anonymous - 09/09/2015 18:54 - United States - Decatur

Today, I drove across two states to see my brother, who's had a history of heart problems. My mother had sent me a long e-mail saying he was on his death bed and wanted to talk to me to "get his affairs in order." When I arrived worriedly, he was fine. My mother guilt-tripped me to come visit. FML

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texasbest - 02/09/2015 02:39 - United States - Lindale

Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML

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Anonymous - 02/08/2019 02:00

Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML

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comeonnow - 25/09/2016 18:53 - United States - Coldwater

Today, my mom's boss reversed into my parked car. She expects me to say that it's my fault so she doesn't have her insurance increase. FML

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Crapper. - 16/09/2016 20:35 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I'm a janitor at a middle school. Someone took a poo and placed it on the sink. FML

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Anonymous - 21/08/2019 20:00

Today, my psychiatrist said, "Well, good luck." at the end of my appointment. FML

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Garry the Gluten-Free Pizza - 13/09/2016 21:17 - United States

Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML

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Baby you can drive my fire engine

nzfireman - 04/09/2017 13:00

Today, while going into the fire station for a call out, I opened my locker door on our only available driver and knocked him out. FML

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Tired - 17/08/2016 17:51

Today, I got in trouble with my boss for doing what she wanted me to do. I guess she didn't think I would do it, so she did it herself. FML

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Sexy catboys rule my life

verno02 - 10/08/2010 23:58 - Canada

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

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xAdtrx3x - 11/08/2016 18:16 - United States - New York

Today, I got yelled at in my office. It's construction, and I'm the youngest woman. One of my male bosses yelled at me because grown-ass adults won't sign in the log. Either I get my ass kicked by construction guys over a sign-in sheet, or yelled at by my boss. I can't win. FML

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xAdtrx3x

xAdtrx3x 8

Friday 12 August 2016 15:47

Hi guys, OP here. Some background info- The guy who yelled at me is only here 80% of the week, and he's not the boss I report to. He just thinks he is, and how he behaved was unacceptable.(He's trying to make the office his own show, but it's not working.) The boss of my division wasn't happy about how he handled things, so he was definitely in the wrong. My co workers are defending me, and this wasn't my fault since it's not my responsibility. I'm a receptionist, not an office manager. If they don't want to sign in- he should be yelling at THEM and not me.

Anonymous - 01/10/2009 14:06 - Canada

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

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