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By ApplePie1994 - 18/07/2016 17:55 - Ireland

Today, my father came downstairs, wearing my mother's dressing gown. It didn't fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 308

You deserved it 1 202

ApplePie1994 tells us more.

ApplePie1994 27

Tuesday 19 July 2016 15:00

OP, here. It was his stomach that didn't fit, you nasty. The dressing gown was pink, with butterflies embroidered on the breast. He looked absolutely fabulous, darlings.

By Anonymous - 26/12/2017 06:00

Today, I learned that my husband is attracted to obese, unhealthy women after celebrating my weight loss of 175lbs and improving my overall health. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 299

You deserved it 435

By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 21:22

Today, I got pulled over and was given a ticket because my exhaust was too loud. I got this ticket while on my way to get said exhaust fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 313

You deserved it 1 018

By sickofthisshit - 02/07/2016 16:43 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I nearly got written up for "publicly humiliating" a coworker. All because I left a note in the restroom asking whoever keeps peeing all over the floor to please be considerate of other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 260

You deserved it 1 031

By Angsty_Armadillo - 28/06/2016 09:36 - United States - Essex

Today, while trying to go to sleep, I could hear snoring from my boyfriend's side of the bed. I'm not sure who was louder, him or the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 282

You deserved it 960

Angsty_Armadillo tells us more.

Angsty_Armadillo 25

Wednesday 29 June 2016 4:41

Holy crow after 7 years I finally get posted! Even though it was on an email I never use.. But I thought I would share a little somethin somethin with you guys. I have tried ear plugs but they cause blockage in my ears. Also to the people who say I shouldn't let the dog sleep with us. Have you tried keeping a 1 year old pit with seperation anxiety in a kennel or simply out of the room? You can pick up the tattered remains of my living room. It's just one of those things you gotta deal with when you have a SO and a dog that snorts loud even when awake. PS I snore loud as **** too my boyfriend is just a heavier sleeper! :D

Fellas, is it gay to drink Mountain Dew?

By Anonymous - 01/07/2021 18:01

Today, I was lying in bed when my sister came home. She had a Mountain Dew, so of course I asked for some. She then told me she just sucked dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 456

By dancingqueef - 22/06/2016 02:39 - United States - Kingston

Today, my mom told me to break a leg before performing in my dancing school's show. I really did break part of my leg while performing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 773

You deserved it 1 199

By Anonymous - 14/06/2016 02:39 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, on a first date, he told me I look like his ex's mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 257

You deserved it 959

By Anonymous - 11/04/2018 15:00

Today, I found the special needle I needed yesterday for a school biology project. I found it by walking around barefoot at 5 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 878

You deserved it 872

By shecrieseverytimeIremindher - 07/06/2016 22:29 - United States - Oregon City

Today, I looked at the revenue from my Etsy shop. After hours and hours of hard work, I was ecstatic to find that I made about $560 so far. That is, until I remembered that it all went to my mom's bank account and I paid all the fees out of my own pocket. And yes, she won't give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 800

You deserved it 1 666

By anonymous - 06/03/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 687

You deserved it 32 315

Amityville

By bumpinthenight - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 425

You deserved it 441

Make it stop

By kids are meh - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I told my cousin it would be okay if he stayed the weekend after a fight with his wife. He didn't tell me he was bringing his 4 kids. They've watched funny cat videos for hours and they laugh like maniacs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 487

You deserved it 1 470

By jasonvanr - 10/05/2016 08:19 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, a woman kindly asked if she might take a photo of her son in our cowboy boots. Thinking it couldn't do much harm, I agreed. Ten minutes later there was a butt naked three year-old and his entire family taking pictures in my shoe store. My manager wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 794

You deserved it 1 542

By Matthew - 04/07/2018 22:30

Today, during science, my friend thought it would be funny to pour corrosive acids into the reaction test I was making. I had to explain to my parents why I have no eyebrows, but the worst part is that I only got a D. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 622

You deserved it 343

By poncho55 - 21/02/2015 20:28

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 673

You deserved it 4 499

poncho55 tells us more.

poncho55 40

Sunday 22 February 2015 7:08

No worries, he's okay now. :) Later on in the day, he laughed about it and thought it was pretty hilarious, which is good because I felt pretty bad about biting him.