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And today on Maury…

By Anonymous - 24/04/2020 20:00

Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 759

You deserved it 219

By Anon. - 05/05/2016 21:00 - United States - Allentown

Today, like every other day my boyfriend and I try and have sex, his dog cried and whined outside of his room until we stopped. She does this all the time and it kills the mood instantly. I can't have sex because of a toy poodle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 723

You deserved it 2 378

Heftychonk

By just-a-fat-cat - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - West Bend

Today, I noticed my cat was making a loud wheezing noise when trying to breathe, so I rushed him to the vet's. $250.00 worth of tests later, he's fine. Just really fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 952

You deserved it 5 125

By redbluegreen - 09/08/2009 09:26 - United States

Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 271

You deserved it 4 045

redbluegreen tells us more.

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 19 July 2011 1:20

That actually wasn't the reason. The mother was the one that decided on the name, not my dad. She did it so that he could leave my mom and me without 'losing' anything.

By Anonymous - 31/07/2018 01:30

Today, I was woken up by an overly sappy good morning text from my boyfriend, complete with kissy-face images. Before I could text him back, he sent a follow-up. "Oops. Wrong person." Wait, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 034

You deserved it 338

By xSusanGeex - 09/04/2016 23:29 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I spent 2 hours slaving over a hot stove to make my kids the perfect dinner. They both came home with Happy Meals in their hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 663

You deserved it 2 258

xSusanGeex tells us more.

xSusanGeex 15

Sunday 10 April 2016 17:17

Actually i am not. I say slaving because i have gas burners which everyone knows heats up the kitchen real quick.

By Kathleen Michelle Cooper - 28/08/2018 20:30

Today, I found out I'm pregnant with my second child. This wouldn't be so bad if my son wasn't only 10 months old and my partner, the father of my children, hadn't been secretly seeing his ex wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 280

You deserved it 657

By Anonymous - 11/10/2018 17:30

Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 677

You deserved it 311

By DutchOven - 04/07/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 420

You deserved it 25 979

Little devil

By anerdmom - 18/10/2018 14:00

Today, while dropping my son off at the bus stop before school, I went to give him a kiss on the cheek. Then, before I was able to make contact, he jumped away, yelled "PSYCH!!!!" as loud as he could, and jumped on the bus. The kids all laughed at me and the other parents looked embarrassed for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 933

You deserved it 372

By pimplesapparently - 18/02/2016 20:17 - United States - New York

Today, I sent my friend a Snapchat without any makeup on. She asked what filter I used, because it made my face look all red and blotchy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 210

You deserved it 2 796

Exorcism time

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 18:47 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a teacher told me in all seriousness that she believes my son, who has severe learning difficulties, is likely demonically possessed. I'm sorry, but what century are we living in? Now I have to get him moved to another school so he doesn't have to be in the care of this nutjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 198

You deserved it 1 917

Drop them right now

By Anonymous - 08/11/2018 12:00

Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having 6 gangrenous toes amputated because he hasn't been treating his diabetes properly. Not half an hour after he got home, I caught him sneaking sweets from a hiding place in his toolbox. He's already lost the bag with his medication in it. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 633

You deserved it 355

Hey you

By pappy - 03/05/2019 13:00 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 980

You deserved it 326

By Anonymous - 05/01/2016 15:04 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I found out that my best friend is being sacked. He's also about to rent a new apartment which he won't be able to afford when he loses his job. I can't warn him or I'll breach confidentiality and lose my job as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 145

You deserved it 2 009

Help!

By send help - 07/03/2017 02:00

Today, at the Japanese restaurant I work for, we have 95 reservations and three servers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 458

You deserved it 409

When dinner is late

By Lewis - 27/01/2019 00:30

FEED ME NOW!

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 119

By hi_im_ughlee - 05/11/2015 03:36

Today, I broke up with the guy I was seeing because he has a bad temper. He refused to believe me and decided that the best way to prove me wrong was to completely destroy my newly built house, inside and out, while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 964

You deserved it 1 697

hi_im_ughlee tells us more.

hi_im_ughlee 19

Thursday 5 November 2015 18:42

Hey, guys! I'm OP. I'm glad most of you are supportive about this! Charges have been filed and he will be sued for all damages. He actually did break in, and he broke all the windows and doors, smashed all the lights and mirrors, took a hammer to the brick outside and the walls inside, and destroyed my deck. I had mini cameras installed to make sure no one would steal anything while the house was still being worked on, so I've got irrefutable proof that it was him and slowly but surely he will be brought down.