The Top

OP here! this actual happened a while ago, but the principle is still the same. the neighbors with the chihuahua, they occasionally yell at the dog to shut up. for the most part, they do nothing. it's not too loud to legally make a noise complaint, but loud enough to be an awful annoyance. as for the ones with the rooster, they don't even speak English. they're from Hong Kong, so they only speak Cantonese, which i don't speak. and i live in the middle of suburbia, so the rooster is very illegal. a 1000$ fine, i believe, if reported. the rooster usually gets really loud around 10, so it sometimes wakes me up, sometimes not. the chihuahua is pretty much 24/7. any more suggestions are more than welcome though, thanks!

Suspicion

By vaylosa - 22/02/2015 20:36

Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 595

You deserved it 3 622

By ocroyalty - 01/02/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 557

You deserved it 2 674

Kitchen nightmare

By cookiemonster - 13/08/2013 16:10 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 469

You deserved it 6 697

Congratulations!

By jennabee97 - 08/11/2014 23:02 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 961

You deserved it 4 328

By pigglepigglepiggle - 24/11/2009 02:30 - United States

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 529

You deserved it 29 622

By what did I do? - 15/10/2015 19:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 382

You deserved it 2 565

Highly relatable

By T.S. - 30/09/2010 14:07 - Australia

Today, after a promotion at work, my new manager made me reset my password for a website we use. To do so, I had to answer the secret question I’d set two years prior. The question was "What is your favorite activity?" The answer I had to type out in front of my manager was "Drinking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 348

You deserved it 35 627

By anonymous - 23/04/2013 05:25 - United States

Today, I had a note to skip P.E. that my grandpa had written because my mom was busy. His handwriting is terrible, so they didn't believe that he'd written it. I'd twisted my ankle and I got to run another mile for "lying". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 982

You deserved it 4 202

By saltynutz20 - 07/04/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 734

You deserved it 8 055

What the puck?

By Anonymous - 04/04/2013 14:29 - United States - Portsmouth

Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 861

You deserved it 4 933

Date night

By shelteredchild - 20/03/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I got the courage to ask my mom if I could go to the movies alone on my first date with my new boyfriend. She said OK, which was surprising because she never lets me go anywhere alone. When I got to the theatre with him I saw my mom. She had saved seats for us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 235

You deserved it 4 608

By loki - 13/03/2010 09:17 - United States

Today, my roommate and I finally went to the DMV to transfer our vehicle ownership title to our names. On our way out, we joked that we were now responsible for any violations involving our car. We came back to a $35 parking ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 975

You deserved it 23 559

By burb - 25/09/2013 19:23 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 060

You deserved it 3 909

The joke's on you

By justjoking - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 539

You deserved it 8 098

By Anonymous - 14/09/2011 15:47 - United States

Today, a lady came into my workplace to pay her $120 bill in one dollar bills. I kept losing count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 852

You deserved it 12 653

By *sigh* - 08/12/2015 22:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I confronted my friend about the £260 he owes me. He got offended and said, "Friends don't have to pay back." He called me selfish and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 723

You deserved it 2 210

By artclasstrauma - 15/05/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, in my art class we had to paint a nude portrait of a fat, old woman. About halfway through the piece, and while painting her fat rolls, I realized she was the only person other than myself I had ever seen naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 198

You deserved it 7 807

By Quendolin - 09/11/2015 14:07 - Germany

Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 895

You deserved it 2 608

Socialite

By Jason - 22/11/2009 15:11 - United States

Today, I was finally able to hang out with a girl I really liked at a party. We had a great time and spent hours together. When I leaned in for a kiss at the end of the night, she stopped me and said , "You're a great guy, but we can't go out because you'd be bad for my social reputation." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 173

You deserved it 3 850

By luckygirl - 13/10/2015 16:20 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 735

You deserved it 6 254

By sunflower226 - 05/08/2011 21:41 - United States

Today, I had to pay a $150 late fee because my landlord didn't receive the rent check. My boyfriend had addressed the envelope to himself and put the landlord's as the return address. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 610

You deserved it 4 050

By ew - 15/09/2015 16:33 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my dad decided that campground bathrooms are disgusting and that on our upcoming camping trip, we'll have to keep a bucket of cat litter in our tent in case we want to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 326

You deserved it 1 579

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 762

You deserved it 43 614

Today, a girl I rejected, who is also a good friend, wrote on Facebook, “I’m never letting a guy get close to me again!” when I finally posted my new girlfriend. I avoided posting her before to avoid hurting her feelings because I knew she was still pining for me. Now I feel like an asshole and I lost a good friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 227

Today, after a 9 hour train journey through the Polish mountains, I mistook a small black and white cat for a penguin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 127

You deserved it 27 347

Today, I finally found out where my great-grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year-old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 853

You deserved it 3 330

Today, I found out my grandfather died via Facebook, because apparently both my father and my aunt think posting a status about it immediately rather than calling family is the thing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 142

You deserved it 2 841

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 157

You deserved it 5 504