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By MiscHats - 14/12/2012 12:28 - Australia - Elsternwick

Today, I was on a crowded bus when the woman behind me vomited. The guy next to her was a sympathy puker. So were 3 other people. There was no room to escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 735

You deserved it 2 095

MiscHats tells us more.

MiscHats 14

Saturday 15 December 2012 6:45

Perhaps I should have made this a little more clear, but yes, I did get puked on. Unfortunately the woman behind me was in a seat which was higher than mine, and thanks to the laws of physics, that meant the vomit sailed nicely downwards and splashed onto the back of my head. She didn't aim into her lap. The guy next to her had the aisle seat, and he at least puked into his lap. One of the other three who puked was standing up in the aisle, and I'm pretty sure he splashed a few people. The other two were at the front of the bus. Basically, it was a Pukey Bus from hell. Getting off was maybe the happiest moment of my life.

By FML - 24/12/2011 01:32 - Sweden

Today, after having recently moved 300 miles to be with my boyfriend of 2 years, I have to celebrate Christmas alone. He never thought our relationship important enough to tell his family about me, and doesn't want it to be "awkward." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 822

You deserved it 5 070

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 06:24 - France

Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 673

You deserved it 3 766

By Anonymou$ - 06/11/2014 23:37 - United States - Daphne

Today, I spent over $2,000 on a big flatscreen TV. My dad insisted I let him mount it on the wall instead of paying someone to do it. All seemed fine, until the TV came loose and smashed onto the floor. My dad refuses to accept responsibility, and says I should've had a professional install it instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 067

You deserved it 7 814

Thanks, "Bro"

By probably on death row soon - 25/12/2015 18:32 - United States - Winter Park

Today, my brother "pranked" me by dropping my new laptop out my bedroom window. He'd set up a saran wrap safety net below to catch my laptop safely, but he didn't secure it well enough. My laptop is completely fucked and he won't accept responsibility because he didn't mean to break it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 223

You deserved it 1 601

By Stacy - 13/07/2013 04:22 - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 151

You deserved it 5 259

By amanderpthepanda - 03/07/2013 17:21 - United States - Redmond

Today, I woke up at my cousin's house after staying the night. I went into the bathroom like I usually do and shut the door. Apparently the door lock on this bathroom doesn't function properly. I discovered this when my 4-year-old cousin walked in on me putting a tampon in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 404

You deserved it 4 224

amanderpthepanda tells us more.

amanderpthepanda 19

Thursday 4 July 2013 8:25

I created this account to respond to some of your comments.. My cousin is a boy, and it was a very awkward explanation. I just told him that it's a girl thing and that he'll learn about it when he's older. I don't think it affected him that much. Also, #7, I enjoyed your comment the most.

By Anonymous - 29/08/2014 16:16 - United States - Port Lavaca

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 218

You deserved it 3 973

Nosey

By Jess - 04/05/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, my husband and I got back from our honeymoon and we saw his mom's car in front of our house. When we walked in she asked us so many questions about our trip. The first question she asked my husband was, "Were you satisfied with her in bed?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 422

You deserved it 3 578

By XxEmoWolfiexX - 24/05/2012 21:18 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 886

You deserved it 2 627

By gerontofuck - 15/04/2014 21:55 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I realized that the only woman who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 895

You deserved it 4 690

By Laura - 20/03/2012 22:27 - United Kingdom - Girvan

Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 858

You deserved it 3 702

By Anonymous - 22/02/2013 17:14 - Sweden - Floda

Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 502

You deserved it 4 265

Romantic evening

By Neglected - 11/12/2013 19:06 - United States - Wimberley

Today, I told my husband it would be great to spend an evening with a bottle of wine and a pile of blankets on the balcony of our cabin during the cruise. He decided it would be great to ditch me and go out gambling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 254

You deserved it 6 268

Treat yourself!

By Crusty - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 832

You deserved it 17 909

Sorry, I…

By signupsheetfail - 12/08/2009 19:02 - Canada

Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 883

You deserved it 41 911

By mvp - 26/07/2009 23:51 - United States

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 966

You deserved it 3 508

By RIP - 07/10/2012 18:34 - Finland - Espoo

Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 705

You deserved it 1 838

By baxeh - 12/09/2013 11:47 - Sweden - Kristianstad

Today, my partner walked in the room wearing a sweater from my wardrobe, making jokes about it and saying how ugly it was. That sweater was the last thing my father wore before he passed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 029

You deserved it 4 107

baxeh tells us more.

baxeh 29

Thursday 12 September 2013 17:17

Well, it's not the most dashing sweater, and i know it's an easy mistake to make. No point in getting upset over nothing really. Just felt like the moment belonged on this site, i'm glad the FML got posted, and thank you for all your comments!