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I tried explaining that, but she said that "if you were meant to go to college, your life would lead to it naturally. Your life has led you to be part of the working class, see?" So pretty much: if I'm not a rich person, I better not even think about going to college.

By Anonymous - 14/12/2013 18:50

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 964

You deserved it 9 853

By lobstercola - 24/11/2012 16:35 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 070

You deserved it 2 613

Brain fart

By Anonymous - 27/01/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 120

You deserved it 41 389

By Don't text and work - 23/06/2009 05:04 - France

Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 157

You deserved it 68 920

By henry feingold - 10/06/2011 04:08 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 541

You deserved it 13 076

Happy Birthday

By qwerty6 - 30/09/2009 06:17 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday. I asked my mom that instead of a present if she would make a donation to my favourite charity. She said that this wasn't a "proper" present for a 15-year-old girl. Instead she got me a kettle because "ours had broke and you make the most tea in the family." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 405

You deserved it 5 552

By Noname - 26/02/2009 01:31 - United States

Today, at work, we finally got a digital projector so our theater can show 3D movies. Our first movie is The Jonas Brothers Concert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 068

You deserved it 9 148

By sexyfreak2510 - 03/09/2009 06:47 - South Africa

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 312

You deserved it 51 933

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 12:17 - United States

Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 343

By susan - 17/11/2012 22:31 - United States - Naperville

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 922

You deserved it 27 177

By lonestar - 03/02/2010 13:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend accused me of deleting my texts from my phone because I'm afraid of him finding out about another man in my life. Truth is, I don't have a life outside of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 187

You deserved it 5 707

By cheated - 08/07/2009 06:46 - United States

Today, I had sex with my fiancée. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I found three other pairs. Only one pair was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 030

You deserved it 4 555

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 04:09 - United States

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 172

You deserved it 65 180

Mad lad

By Bob H. - 26/10/2014 13:54 - Canada - Québec

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 896

You deserved it 5 431

Pure evil

By PiaNO - 10/11/2009 21:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 363

You deserved it 3 536

By Username - 28/07/2011 21:36 - United States

Today, I got the worst sunburn I've ever had in my life, and then discovered I'm allergic to aloe when I went to treat the burn with some gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 532

You deserved it 3 662

By Thomas - 20/09/2010 07:16 - United States

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 301

You deserved it 3 459

By themouseman1212 - 10/03/2013 16:13 - United States

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 678

You deserved it 7 503

themouseman1212 tells us more.

themouseman1212 16

Wednesday 29 January 2014 19:40

I'm trying to. It's been a long time. But I'm still hopeful. Just trying to be the best husband and father I can be. Thanks for the support.

By emchocolat - 16/12/2012 16:55 - Europe

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 587

You deserved it 3 266

emchocolat_fml tells us more.

emchocolat_fml 25

Monday 17 December 2012 8:15

Thanks for your comments and highly original puns ! Just to clear the language issue up: "I was burgled" is correct British English (as opposed to American English) and means "Somebody broke into my house and stole things that belonged to me". "Burglarized" is the American synonym. The site said I come from Europe - I do, but it's a big place. I come from England and I live in Mayotte, a French territory in the Indian Ocean.

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 21:56 - United States

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 363

You deserved it 3 826

By kandykrazed17 - 23/05/2009 12:14 - United States

Today, I was leaving work when some creeper start following me. When he asked me for my name, I immediately gave him a fake one. He just laughed and said “I hope to see you soon.” He used my real name. First AND last. I was still wearing my name tag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 242

You deserved it 29 407

kandykrazed17 tells us more.

kandykrazed17 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 23:16

lol first of all i work at a WAMU where our name tags give our full name so no lies there. secondly, this guy was twice my age. i was not being bitchy at all. he said hi and then i smiled and said hi back. it's one thing when you greet someone. it's another when you keep following them asking personal questions. i didn't give a fake name on purpose. it was just a natural reaction. lol but yea i guess it wasn't smart to walk out with my name tag still on. o and btw not to be rude but i took AP english so i'm pretty sure i know how to use “proceeded” in a sentence correctly. it's not my fault if other ppl don't or overuse it.