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You people are so cruel. They were indentical except collar color. I said which one and he still messed up. My normal vet was closed because of Mothers day so the pound was the one to do it. I can't believe some of the things you people are saying... it is so hurtful... and both my cats did end up being put down...

By historyfreak_17 - 17/06/2012 07:11 - United States - Dearborn Heights

Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 825

You deserved it 4 715

Party hard!

By _Emilyy - 12/07/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 548

You deserved it 10 545

By disgustedgf - 28/06/2011 07:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 956

You deserved it 8 759

By ohIlike - 15/09/2009 12:10 - Australia

Today, after thirteen years of engagement, my fiancé and I split. As is, with the day, we changed our Facebook relationships to make it official. I logged back on tonight to find his mother, the woman I've spent the last year looking after and having a good time, "liking" the break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 964

You deserved it 7 578

By Alpha - 17/12/2011 21:18 - Estonia

Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 546

You deserved it 31 809

By Anonymous - 05/02/2016 09:55 - United Kingdom

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 643

You deserved it 8 773

By Anonymous - 23/08/2013 14:29 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 641

You deserved it 12 221

By Bitchjackedmyball - 12/09/2012 08:52 - United States - Kihei

Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine!" I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car, and they drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 568

You deserved it 5 565

Crossed wires

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 20:36 - Canada

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 453

You deserved it 43 905

By MainePains - 10/10/2014 23:27 - United States - Portsmouth

Today, my son was crying because he's afraid he might get Ebola. We live in Maine, and he's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 269

You deserved it 4 930

MainePains tells us more.

MainePains 5

Saturday 11 October 2014 20:07

Hello, OP here! Apparently, the reason he has been crying is because the high school he goes to a lot of rumors are flying around- about Ebola coming to Maine. Thanks for the advice, but I have to say- a few of you are Maineiacs.

By Anonymous - 12/09/2010 14:04 - Denmark

Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said, "Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 852

You deserved it 5 066

By Glutton for Punishment. - 07/09/2010 21:30 - France

Today, I got a separation agreement from my wife. It was sent from the lawyer she spent the long weekend with right before she told me it was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 096

You deserved it 2 482

Slippin'

By kerdersty - 30/05/2011 03:27 - Canada

Today, I was snowboarding when a skier cut me off, resulting in me colliding with a 12 year-old girl. The girl was totally fine, and I was alright except for a slight nose bleed. I apologized to the girl, then her mom hit me over the back with a ski pole as I snowboarded away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 624

You deserved it 3 789

By AdamFoundHisEve - 25/05/2010 19:08 - France

Today, I had a dream about toasting with champagne. Whilst asleep, I extended my hand to toast, then brought my hand to my mouth to "drink the bubbly." I knocked over the glass of water I keep on my bedside table. My iPhone is now ruined, and in shock of my wet arm, I jerked backward headbutting my wife's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 700

You deserved it 7 610

By take a fucking seat, gran - 14/12/2013 22:05 - United States - Fullerton

Today, my psychotic grandma set fire to our Christmas tree because she refuses to let us celebrate what she calls a twisted pagan holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 290

You deserved it 4 035

Epic prank bro

By Rachel - 20/07/2012 05:13 - United States

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 978

You deserved it 3 592

By holyshart - 05/06/2012 09:03 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 557

You deserved it 2 571

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 21:26 - United Kingdom

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 716

You deserved it 3 454

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 638

You deserved it 6 235

Assholes

By NoRespect - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I spent an hour setting up a delicate display stand at work. Not five minutes later, a woman barged in with her little kid, who immediately went up to the display and tipped the whole thing over. When I called attention to the mother, she just scoffed, "Isn't this your job?" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 098

You deserved it 3 331

By nikkiquila_0699 - 05/09/2009 21:24 - Canada

Today, I came back from my 3-month vacation in France. During my vacation I lost 32 lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door, he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 419

You deserved it 4 872

By ambermcnulty - 05/01/2010 02:27 - France

Today, it was the first time my boyfriend saw me naked. He grabbed my breasts and began to sing, "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He's 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 253

You deserved it 6 090

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 06:25 - United States

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 227

You deserved it 8 749

By Snarty - 23/07/2013 18:28 - United States

Today, I sold ice cream to a group of kids. One of them looked sad, because he was the only one who couldn't buy any, so I gave him some for free. Apparently, he was allergic to something in it, and ended up being rushed to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 518

You deserved it 7 456

Snarty tells us more.

Snarty 7

Wednesday 24 July 2013 5:56

hey thanks for the comments guys. to answer a few questions neither the kid nor the parent knew he was allergic. aparently he reacted to the red food coloring which caused him to break out in a full body rash the poor little guy was so upset. but now we know he isn't allergic to all ice cream so I told him and the mom they will have free ice cream on me for the rest of the year... as long as it doesn't have red dye! Thanks to all who commented, Cheers!

By deli Shoppe - 27/06/2012 04:39 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 385

You deserved it 38 695