Sex, Awkward Intimacy You tried

You tried

dumped - 26/07/2010 23:48 - United States

Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

anonymous - 29/01/2011 12:41 - Australia

Today, my mother walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. Afterwards, she informed me I would look a lot hotter if I smiled more. FML

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Suave

ooblie - 08/12/2010 08:22 - United States

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML

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ohgod... - 02/04/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

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motherlover - 05/08/2014 04:40 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML

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Timing

kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

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laury - 09/05/2012 02:05 - Canada - Port Elgin

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

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In the mood

Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

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mo - 19/12/2011 07:55 - United States

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

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ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

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What ARE you doing?

jentea - 05/09/2010 02:22 - Canada

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML

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Mike1313 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 9:09

Maybe his mother is hot.

kmwis_00 6

Tuesday 27 July 2010 9:13

Ew! How would he know what his mom looked like in that pose? O.o

_streets_ 19

Tuesday 27 July 2010 9:21

that's kinda disturbing. that sucks op, fyl

the_flirtt 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 9:22

hmmm u make a good point

BeeHappy_fml 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 9:23

YOUR MOTHER PLAYS CARD GAMES IN HELL!!!

knockout666 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 9:23

lol wow that's both disturbing and sad...OUCH!

ilovejonathan13 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 9:23

awh; fyl indeed.. but wait, why would he be looking at his mother when she's naked?..

Tamu_Chan 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 9:24

Um.. Either he likes the way his mom looks and thinks she's sexy, or you look old and unseductive. Niiiice. :)

meneedlove 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 9:51

#31 This, but still weird :o

the_flirtt 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 9:24

what ??

too_dopee 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 9:24

eww, how would he know what his mom looks like? fyl, youur boyfrind is weird.

canitbe 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 9:26

I recan they might be red necks. get er doneeeeee.

Mickay1232 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 9:26

awkward much lol

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML

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Today, I ate at Subway during my lunch hour. A group of teenage girls sat down at the table next to mine. They all shared good laugh about the "friendless, chubby chick" sitting near them, while attempting to discreetly point at me. FML

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Today, I received two withdrawal grades in school for dropping the classes due to a kidney infection that kept me in the hospital. I wrote a petition to the dean asking to remove the grades. He replied to send a doctor's note. I did so, and he then said that I was faking and the note was forged. FML

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Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

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Today, I found out my father has been saving money to help me buy my first car. In the same conversation, I found out my mother, unbeknownst to my dad, used nearly all of the money to bail my drunken, deadbeat uncle out of jail for the fourth time a month ago. He's now back in prison. FML

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Today, I asked my best friend, who I love, what his new girlfriend has that I don’t. I've gone the extra mile, did favors, been there at his highest and lowest for about a year and a half, yet he rejected me and chose a girl who he’s merely known 5 months. Apparently a slim waist and perky boobs/butt matters more. FML

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