Intimacy What a dick

What a dick

Anonymous - 03/11/2011 07:29 - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

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You have the same voice!

EternalBlossom - 14/07/2015 05:03 - United States

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

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mydadsgonnakillme - 08/02/2013 07:13 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

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iris - 18/05/2012 23:01 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

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Uh... Okay?

Champion sucker - 11/08/2018 06:00

Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML

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Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

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ohgod... - 02/04/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

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_schaden_freude - 27/12/2015 17:31 - United Kingdom - Ashford

Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML

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Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

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Yikes!

Anonymous - 31/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

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damadrappa 4

Thursday 3 November 2011 12:11

Someones jealous

GuitarFail123 9

Thursday 3 November 2011 12:11

wow... thats umm interesting to say the least....

OFWGKTADGAF 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 16:26

nipples

Fjweinbk_fml 2

Thursday 3 November 2011 16:27

tell me you broke up with his son

Savra_fml 17

Thursday 3 November 2011 16:51

* telling # 145* "You broke up with his son". Now what?

vipirius 18

Thursday 3 November 2011 19:41

dude, you're not funny. Stop trying to be.

sfagirl_fml 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 16:37

do it....lol

o0malicecat0o 4

Thursday 3 November 2011 16:43

Sick prick

fanaticdragon 10

Thursday 3 November 2011 16:45

My instantaneous reaction to this fml was : EW.

andiiturtle 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 17:08

Hey, is he a hot dad? Hahaha

woww2011 3

Thursday 3 November 2011 17:09

Soo are you ready?

jennifer42293 4

Thursday 3 November 2011 17:10

Wooooow. That pretty gross, I say you tell his son.

zuzupetalsYO 11

Thursday 3 November 2011 17:15

CREEPEEEEERRRR

WaylonD 4

Thursday 3 November 2011 17:16

You all know you've had fantasies about your father in law throwin u down, n showin you how a real man does it!

zuzupetalsYO 11

Thursday 3 November 2011 17:22

Um no lol

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

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Today, I’m the only one in my family who's ever taken Covid seriously. This seemed to really annoy my siblings, so much so that they chased me, pulled off my mask, and dramatically coughed all over me. We’re all adults and though they found it hilarious, I’ve been having panic attacks all day. FML

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Today, my girlfriend called saying that she wanted to break up because she wasn't into me anymore. Yesterday, I paid $400 to take her to a Red Sox game, so I asked her why she even came with me. She said that she had been talking to her ex-boyfriend, and he said he was going to that game too. FML

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Hold my beer!

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Today, after suffering with anxiety and insomnia for a nearly a year and exhausting every natural remedy I could think of, I finally went to go to a doctor for help. Instead of writing me a prescription, he told me to drink more tea and think happy thoughts. I had to pay out of pocket for this. FML

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Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

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