Intimacy What a dick - FML

What a dick

Anonymous - 03/11/2011 07:29 - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

69 739

5 181

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

17 592

47 258

You have the same voice!

EternalBlossom - 14/07/2015 05:03 - United States

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

28 542

24 120

mydadsgonnakillme - 08/02/2013 07:13 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

64 593

12 448

iris - 18/05/2012 23:01 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

14 257

36 311

Uh... Okay?

Champion sucker - 11/08/2018 06:00

Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML

5 057

1 841

Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

49 720

5 704

ohgod... - 02/04/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

44 233

3 441

_schaden_freude - 27/12/2015 17:31 - United Kingdom - Ashford

Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML

30 446

1 841

Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

5 168

1 466

Yikes!

Anonymous - 31/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

42 279

7 259

damadrappa 4

Thursday 3 November 2011 12:11

Someones jealous

GuitarFail123 9

Thursday 3 November 2011 12:11

wow... thats umm interesting to say the least....

cordelldena 1

Thursday 3 November 2011 21:13

Thats just awkward....

hiqhfives 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 21:26

Im sorry but thats ******* gross , not to mention rude !

NeverGiveUp97 6

Thursday 3 November 2011 21:40

That's a bit of an awkward situation...

rexreta 5

Thursday 3 November 2011 21:44

Oh... My... Goodness.....

gary8082 14

Thursday 3 November 2011 22:01

A win for Dad!

rjh0306 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 22:04

sexual harassment and pedophile. sounds like you should be careful

Bobissmall 13

Thursday 3 November 2011 22:36

It isn't either of them... You don't know that she is below the age of consent and talking to her in a suggestive way -once- isn't harassment...

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 3 November 2011 22:12

Haha that's just a bit daring.

caity878 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 22:19

Im sorry but thats disgusting

MasterChief7494 3

Thursday 3 November 2011 22:30

I can't believe girls want to do that. People will find out and start calling them names every time. And plus the older guys are just doing it cuz they're either just starting to be cool enough for a girl to even think about having sex with them or they have a disease and they need to go to younger girls that don't really know them.

JLopez7 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 22:30

When I read the end, my reaction was "Uwwww the heck!"

9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML

43 983

4 310

Today, I was texting my friend. He has a history of depression, which we were talking about, and somehow, he turned the conversation to, "If we ever broke up, I would kill myself." I didn't even know we were even going out. FML

42 273

3 009

Today, I learned when you're babysitting a 5 year old, and you hear the toilet flush and then the words "uh oh", it's already too late. FML

459

41

Today, my fiancé picked today of all days to have one of his depressive episodes where he can’t even get out of bed. We’re supposed to be getting married in four hours, and his episodes can last over a week. FML

794

1 136

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML

7 715

36 345

Today, I flew my girlfriend to Paris for our one year anniversary. Little did I know that instead of going up the Eiffel Tower and over looking the most romantic city she would rather spend it in bed with a French man. FML

58 314

4 942