Intimacy What a dick - FML

What a dick

Anonymous - 03/11/2011 07:29 - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

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Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

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You have the same voice!

EternalBlossom - 14/07/2015 05:03 - United States

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

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mydadsgonnakillme - 08/02/2013 07:13 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

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iris - 18/05/2012 23:01 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

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Uh... Okay?

Champion sucker - 11/08/2018 06:00

Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML

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Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

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ohgod... - 02/04/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

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_schaden_freude - 27/12/2015 17:31 - United Kingdom - Ashford

Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML

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Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

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Yikes!

Anonymous - 31/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

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damadrappa 4

Thursday 3 November 2011 12:11

Someones jealous

GuitarFail123 9

Thursday 3 November 2011 12:11

wow... thats umm interesting to say the least....

afulks78 11

Thursday 3 November 2011 12:53

Did u call him ?

Savra_fml 17

Thursday 3 November 2011 12:55

Would u have?

afulks78 11

Thursday 3 November 2011 13:00

If he had a big penis. Jk I wouldn't.

UndeRgroUnd206 4

Thursday 3 November 2011 15:35

Haha waiting for some one to say that^

steven107 7

Friday 4 November 2011 5:24

No she would of called

OfficeNinja 5

Thursday 3 November 2011 12:57

Give his number to Trixie, the hooker at the corner of herpes street and crabs avenue.

malincake 7

Thursday 3 November 2011 13:01

Thats beond creepy!!

Manganimegrl 16

Thursday 3 November 2011 13:26

Just like your pic

slimjimboy 0

Friday 4 November 2011 3:19

69-The perfect number for this FML

peepeeparee 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 13:11

... Are you my long lost sister or something? because my father said that to my best friend when she was dating my brother (hawkward situation, I know). D:

miZscrZee 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 13:16

Uhhhh...............

underguarded 20

Thursday 3 November 2011 13:16

Depending on how close to his age OP is, would determine how far up the creeper scale this is.

underguarded 20

Thursday 3 November 2011 13:16

Duplicate post.

purple91 8

Thursday 3 November 2011 13:33

Brilliant.

jobsman99 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 13:44

If you take him up on his offer, then your boyfriend and his Dad can compare notes. Then they will probably want a threesome with you.

AaronSanchez1969 4

Thursday 3 November 2011 13:49

RUN.......

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Today, I was Whatsapping my boyfriend, as I am away for work. Before talking to him, I texted my work group I wasn’t feeling well after they invited me out. As I was chatting with what I thought was my boyfriend, I said, “I want your penis inside me.” And then realized I'd texted my work group. FML

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Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML

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Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds, then said, "Who the hell are you?" FML

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