Health: Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without...

By captfml - 15/12/2010 22:32 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 327

You deserved it 27 734

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Same thing different taste

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 02:03

Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 571

You've got something…

By Chris - 04/08/2025 00:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 408

By Anonymous - 29/10/2013 18:57 - Zimbabwe

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 863

You deserved it 13 900

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 701

You deserved it 13 859

Soapy

By Anonymous - 10/11/2022 00:00

Today, like every morning, I washed my mouthguard with bar soap. Tonight, though, I realized I hadn’t rinsed as well as I should have, there's soap between my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 703

Multitasking

By Mirroronthewall - 30/08/2009 15:22 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 769

You deserved it 44 254

Let that sink in

By Anonymous - 22/07/2025 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was washing my hands in my workplace's bathroom and caught my reflection in the mirror. I had toothpaste smeared all over my cheek. I spent the rest of the day wondering how many people had noticed and said nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 126

Rushed

By K.Trinity - 15/06/2024 20:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 463

Take your time

By Anonymous - 12/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, while brushing my teeth before a date, I sneezed so hard that toothpaste flew all over my clean shirt. I was already running late, so I panicked and tried to wipe it off with water. It left huge wet spots. I showed up looking like I had just lost a fight with a giant toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 289

By idontlikebitter - 08/03/2016 21:10 - Switzerland - Klingnau

Today, as I was doing my make-up, I needed a Q-tip to fix a mistake. I took one out the box and put it in my mouth to get it wet. Too bad someone had used it before to clean their ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 231

You deserved it 3 969

DrAwesome 6

Thursday 16 December 2010 1:54

"I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth." Sounds like my ex-wife.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 16 December 2010 2:09

It's ok, I'm a doctor and I can help you. Go play leapfrog with a unicorn. It's the only cure. Sorry.

Comments

usaf1 8

Thursday 26 May 2011 8:06

your mouth gets clean either way

CaliSwaggGirl 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 11:13

that's not that bad it sucks but not that bad

saltypirate 0

Friday 19 August 2011 9:55

Giggity

nickfraxer 0

Thursday 25 August 2011 16:26

Sac up Sally. There are people out there with real problems!!

MRVOlivia 22

Wednesday 21 September 2011 20:40

Dude......,that sucks.......Ive almost done the same thing hundreds of times. Except with hand soap. FYL

that_nerdy_sock 3

Sunday 2 October 2011 0:17

Get ready for hiccups!

P1Nk13 7

Saturday 9 June 2012 22:07

how the **** does a bottle of hand soap look like a toothpaste tube???? ydi

Pinkraincoat 18

Wednesday 26 March 2014 7:22

Slow and steady wins the race

krispybacon4321 23

Monday 22 December 2014 7:44

I know how that goes.

couchpotato69 2

Tuesday 6 September 2016 13:18

You literally scrubbed your mouth out with soap.

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