Health: Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without...

By captfml - 15/12/2010 22:32 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 327

You deserved it 27 734

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 02:03

Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 571

You've got something…

By Chris - 04/08/2025 00:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 408

By Anonymous - 29/10/2013 18:57 - Zimbabwe

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 863

You deserved it 13 900

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 701

You deserved it 13 859

Soapy

By Anonymous - 10/11/2022 00:00

Today, like every morning, I washed my mouthguard with bar soap. Tonight, though, I realized I hadn’t rinsed as well as I should have, there's soap between my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 703

Multitasking

By Mirroronthewall - 30/08/2009 15:22 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 769

You deserved it 44 254

Let that sink in

By Anonymous - 22/07/2025 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was washing my hands in my workplace's bathroom and caught my reflection in the mirror. I had toothpaste smeared all over my cheek. I spent the rest of the day wondering how many people had noticed and said nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 126

Rushed

By K.Trinity - 15/06/2024 20:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 463

Take your time

By Anonymous - 12/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, while brushing my teeth before a date, I sneezed so hard that toothpaste flew all over my clean shirt. I was already running late, so I panicked and tried to wipe it off with water. It left huge wet spots. I showed up looking like I had just lost a fight with a giant toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 289

By idontlikebitter - 08/03/2016 21:10 - Switzerland - Klingnau

Today, as I was doing my make-up, I needed a Q-tip to fix a mistake. I took one out the box and put it in my mouth to get it wet. Too bad someone had used it before to clean their ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 231

You deserved it 3 969

DrAwesome 6

Thursday 16 December 2010 1:54

"I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth." Sounds like my ex-wife.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 16 December 2010 2:09

It's ok, I'm a doctor and I can help you. Go play leapfrog with a unicorn. It's the only cure. Sorry.

Comments

hwkman68 2

Thursday 16 December 2010 12:37

now that's funny right there. bet your ass pays attention in the future!

macskapingvin 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 13:59

Hey, at least you didn't pour bleach on your cereal. That was not a good day.

Ninjafriends 1

Thursday 16 December 2010 18:09

OP, did you put a bar of soap on your toothbrush and not notice it was soap? Stupid kid.

Calyx_fml 21

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:32

That will teach you not to swear.

HomeAl0ne 20

Thursday 16 December 2010 20:33

Come back when you've confused IcyHot/Dencorub/DeepHeat with your haemorrhoid cream, then we'll talk.

towboatdude 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 20:50

Ok Op you must be one serious idiot. Just explain how in the hell. You confuse a tube of tooth paste or in a pump. With soap in a pump. Because I've never seen soap come on a long slinder tube?