Miscellaneous **** McGee - FML

**** McGee

Anonymous - 24/01/2014 05:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

fucked up dad - 11/07/2013 19:50 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML

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Sex work is work

Anonymous - 02/01/2016 22:31 - United States

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

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Thanks for that, dad!

Anonymous - 13/10/2019 01:00

Today, I mentioned to my family that I was sad about the fact that I was thirty-five years-old, single, and had no children. My father piped up from the next room, "What man in his right would want your lopsided tits, fat thighs, and fucked-up nose in their gene pool?" FML

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cheerbabeXoXo - 29/06/2013 21:49 - United Kingdom - High Wycombe

Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML

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SheWentCrayola - 17/10/2009 02:04 - United States

Today, I met some guys from my dad's workplace. They told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded, "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML

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uneducated - 07/03/2010 00:49 - United States

Today, I found out that my 50-year-old Father is the 'Sugar Daddy' to a 20-year-old. He wasted my college funds on her, which I have been dutifully saving for ever since I was 10. FML

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The downside of nepotism

Anonymous - - Canada - Cornwall

Today, I thought my dad was finally showing interest in the business I started last year when he asked about my next event. Nope, he just wanted to know if I would hire his step-granddaughter. Her first question? "So, I won't have to do any like, real work right?" Gee, thanks Dad. FML

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Great joke Dad, thanks

Anonymous - 05/07/2014 17:53 - United States

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say, "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

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Anonymous - 09/12/2014 21:14 - United States - Margate City

Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML

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thesixth - 02/03/2016 18:53 - Kenya

Today, being jobless and all, I tried calling my dad for a job after my many years of pride. He invited me to an interview to compete against 10 people, probably more qualified than I am. FML

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Weird_situations 13

Friday 24 January 2014 16:02

That's a really creepy thing to say to your daughter..

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 24 January 2014 16:01

Tell him that if he had your ****, he would be a medical marvel and a hit at the LBGT convention.

flapjax68 4

Friday 24 January 2014 22:58

Um... Compliment?

matthew5555555 11

Friday 24 January 2014 23:12

Take it as a compliment

Mauskau 35

Friday 24 January 2014 23:12

My dad has said the same to me, luckily I ignore him.

lily199 3

Saturday 25 January 2014 0:41

Why do all of them say 5ML today

awilliams44 9

Saturday 25 January 2014 3:39

ur dad seems like a pervert..

saltysilverfox 7

Saturday 25 January 2014 4:09

pics pls

reymon8823 24

Saturday 25 January 2014 4:50

Lmao win for dad

Sweetdiculous 1

Saturday 25 January 2014 5:12

Ew.

r00nie 10

Saturday 25 January 2014 8:26

Dad of the year!

pdp_fml 21

Saturday 25 January 2014 11:42

You must be beautiful. You should take it as a compliment.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I had lower lumbar back surgery. I'm in horrible pain, my kids are wedged up my butt even though my husband is home, and I've heard nothing from friends or family, not even a check-in to see how it went. FML

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Today, I spent almost 1000$ on an ex girlfriend, not because I wanted to, I was court ordered. She had her child with a guy who was already married, and told the government that I was the father. This was 2 years after she stole my credit card and maxed it out. FML

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Today, I met my dad for first time in 22 years. He smoked a joint with me, showed me his plants, and gave me a bag of mushrooms. Every time I try and believe I'm not trash, the universe tells me different. FML

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Today, I was travelling in a car. As I was discreetly picking my nose, we drove over a speed bump. It hurts. FML

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Today, I was skiing and crashed into a tree. It was the only tree on the slope. FML

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Today, I was working as a service writer in an auto service shop. A really cute girl came in to buy a headlight, I offered to install the bulb for her. My hand got stuck behind the headlight, she had to ask one of our mechanics to come remove the air box from her car to get my hand out. FML

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