Sex, Awkward Intimacy Timing is everything

Timing is everything

Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:54 - France

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

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Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Not now

Anonymous - 08/09/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML

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Useful idiot

taintedlover - - United States - Seattle

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

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loserman - 29/04/2014 22:40 - United States - Frisco

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML

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Anonymous - 17/04/2013 23:01 - United States - Bristol

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

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RingAroundThe..SPLAT - 16/05/2012 04:10 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I was in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML

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dollfacee - 09/07/2015 16:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML

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Cinnamon - 18/07/2011 00:04 - Jamaica

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML

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Crushed

Anonymous - 26/10/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom - Saint Ives

Today, I appreciated how much my older sister is engaged and fully appreciative of how wonderful my girlfriend is… until my girlfriend told me that she has a huge crush on my sister. FML

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Anonymous - 28/09/2009 16:28 - United States

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML

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No thanks

SadIndianLife - 15/11/2015 21:00 - India - Delhi

Today, my girlfriend's mother is more into me than she is. FML

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ByronJess 17

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:46

That makes you wonder exactly why she was still letting you sleep with her...

cjcstuart 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:46

Please tell me you pulled out...

Fmlsea 28

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:07

Time for a new gf

ninjabunny56 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:08

That's kinda creepy.... My girlfriend broke up with me the day after she told me that

geod69 8

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:11

Incest is the best

braxdan50 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:22

Oh brother! What the hell is wrong with that girl?!

TheJester12 15

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:23

that's .....disturbing

tennis06 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:27

doesn't matter had sex

no_neck_joe 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:30

I hope you at least had the decency to finish it off with a Joe dirt "you're my sister! you're my sister!"

candykidxxxx74 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:35

Hope she's pregnant

ahabsfan 15

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:38

By brother does she mean African American? Maybe it was a compliment. You know the stereotype. Way to go bro!

maelrice 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:39

Creepy.... look for another girl

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML

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Today, my grandma and I went to visit one of her friends. The elderly gentleman told me I'd grown into a very beautiful young woman, to which my grandma replied, "Have you started in on the sherry early this evening, Henry?" FML

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Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

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Today, my 12 year-old brother tried doing laundry for the first time and ruined all my clothes with bleach. When my dad drove him to Walmart to buy replacement clothes for me, he bought me tighty whities. We both have worn boxers our whole lives. My dad won't return them. FML

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Today, I was talking to my mom lamenting the fact that none of my few relationships seem to last longer than 2 months. She asked why and I said, "because I'm paranoid, obsessive compulsive, judgmental, defensive, and stubborn." Instead of encouraging me, she said, "Well, at least you're honest." FML

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Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

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