Awkward, Porn and Intimacy: Tall grass

Tall grass

By Anonymous - 16/06/2011 14:43 - United States

Today, as I was mowing my neighbor's lawn, I found the Playboy magazine he'd left in his yard. I found it with the mower. I spent the next hour picking up little shards of naked women for no extra pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 369

You deserved it 7 071

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/08/2013 10:52 - United States

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 160

You deserved it 7 990

Yesterday's news

By rofld - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 021

You deserved it 28 356

By racking-leaves - 14/11/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 849

You deserved it 1 863

By woodre - 02/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, I was emptying a bag of grass from my lawn mower when I saw pieces of what used to be a 50 dollar bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 200

You deserved it 6 195

By Lebac - 14/04/2015 08:33 - United States - Burlington

Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 813

You deserved it 4 091

By prisym - 30/08/2017 13:00

Today, I found the $3,200 engagement ring I dropped in my yard. I ran over it with my lawnmower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 410

You deserved it 801

By jl_word - 04/02/2015 21:49 - United States

Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 666

You deserved it 3 846

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 987

You deserved it 26 224

Baked

By NotHappyJan - 03/12/2018 03:00

Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 769

You deserved it 2 016

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 960

You deserved it 3 444

nmsm 1

Thursday 16 June 2011 18:54

why would he leave something like that in his yard. weirdo.

dixieboo 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 18:53

Who said your neighbor was Jiraya???

Comments

KLern 0

Friday 17 June 2011 1:04

hmm probably should have left it instead of wasting your time picking up the scraps... you already ruined it anyways...

ALEXLASFLA 0

Friday 17 June 2011 1:08

how is picking up pieces of nude chicks bad? lucky…

zniltiaC 19

Friday 17 June 2011 2:09

The way you phrased it is hilarious!!!

saltypirate 0

Friday 17 June 2011 3:20

that's happened to me several times

642_fml 0

Friday 17 June 2011 3:54

Hah I agree

nebula748 14

Friday 17 June 2011 3:59

Why weren't you using a bag for the mower?

berryblue 0

Friday 17 June 2011 5:34

lol

MaskedAspen 6

Friday 17 June 2011 5:36

laughed so hard.

Chrispayne 4

Friday 17 June 2011 5:54

He planted it there hoping to get a show from u after u found. Sound like you both lost

SirObvious 1

Friday 17 June 2011 6:22

guess he needs a new hiding place. f his l

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I was driving down a completely empty street when a cop pulled me over for no reason at all. When he approached my window, I began to get defensive until he informed me I was driving the wrong way down a one way street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 266

You deserved it 24 793

Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 098

You deserved it 5 146

Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he was just delaying while pleasuring himself to the sound of my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 646

You deserved it 4 092

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 011

You deserved it 3 036

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 661

You deserved it 4 108

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 412

You deserved it 3 235

Tall grass

Same thing different taste

Yesterday's news

Baked

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