Love Surprise! - FML

Surprise!

dieold - 28/01/2009 12:15 - United States

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriend's house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles, I slipped my hand into her sister's back pocket and squeezed her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out, and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Dumped - 22/12/2009 07:57 - United States

Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML

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Turned on

Anonymous - 06/08/2023 16:00

Today, I got home at 2am. It was dark but I heard my fiancé in the kitchen, so I went and kissed her, and grabbed both ass cheeks. Normally this would turn her on, but she screamed and turned on the lights. It was my sister. I groped my sister's ass. Why was she in my house in the dark at 2am? FML

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Anonymous - 22/07/2013 08:47 - United Kingdom - Bury

Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her by another girl's name. FML

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tigerbyrn - 30/05/2016 15:35 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

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Knight

Racked - 01/03/2016 18:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML

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junior - 11/04/2010 08:11 - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

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tony456 - 11/07/2011 21:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML

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Oh, hello there

Jon - 18/01/2010 20:26 - United States

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

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arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

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needsnewshorts - 16/07/2013 01:42 - United States - San Clemente

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

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toomuchcoffee 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 5:07

Good thing it wasn't her little brother.

lemonkid44 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 5:22

ahhh duuude that suckkkkkssss. damn. you should really look next time you play grab ass though

AnCafeLover 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 20:21

haha way 2 play it smo0th. lma0 at least it wasnt ur gf's mom. that wud have been awkward and embarassing.

claiiire_fml 17

Saturday 11 January 2014 17:27

Like your spelling?

TheDoubleStuffOr 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 12:53

Fail.

julia101_fml 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 19:45

its happened to me.. sisters' bf grabbed my ass... :(

shitwit2234 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 7:21

did it feel good?

newburton13 26

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:11

You are a pervert, pervert.

smokebluntzz420 1

Saturday 4 August 2012 4:50

look before you grab next time dumbass lol

ShananaginsLOL 13

Wednesday 13 March 2013 6:54

At least u didn't grab her brothers ass

angelwing13 5

Friday 11 October 2013 5:35

How do u mistake a little girl for your girlfriend?!?!?! Sorry OP, YDI

claiiire_fml 17

Saturday 11 January 2014 17:28

Nowhere in the FML does it say the sister was a little girl. Read. Comprehend. You had it halfway.

psyonomega 4

Friday 30 May 2014 7:31

there is so much wrong with this post....

xxcaitlannxx 15

Tuesday 10 June 2014 21:42

Look before you grab lol

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my house caught fire and almost burned down. My neighbour, who has always hated me, came up, patted me on the back, and said, "That sucks for you." FML

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Today, I vented to my friend about how unhappy I am and how I want to kill myself. What did she say? "Don't do that." That was it. FML

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Today, after months of trying to get my Pomeranian to lose weight (the vet said she needed to lose 2kg), she was finally getting close to the goal. My cleaner came while I was at work. When I got home, I weighed my dog again, and she had put on 0.5kg, due to the cleaner not following the instructions not to feed her. FML

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Today, two girls invited me up to their room at 3 am. As soon as we pressed the up button on the elevator, the fire alarm went off. FML

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Today, I found out I'm pregnant. It's okay, I know who the father is: my ex-boyfriend, who moved to Japan last week. FML

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Today, as I was reviewing my EMS textbook, I decided I would practice taking my own pulse. I started with finding my femoral artery with no success. My mom walked in on me while I had my hand almost up my crotch, muttering to myself, "Why don't I have one?" FML

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