Love, Family, Creepy Awkward Turned on

Turned on

Anonymous - 06/08/2023 16:00

Today, I got home at 2am. It was dark but I heard my fiancé in the kitchen, so I went and kissed her, and grabbed both ass cheeks. Normally this would turn her on, but she screamed and turned on the lights. It was my sister. I groped my sister's ass. Why was she in my house in the dark at 2am? FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
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Dumped - 22/12/2009 07:57 - United States

Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML

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Whoops - 28/01/2010 20:21 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

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Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

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elisabeth_pwnes - 16/03/2012 10:38 - Norway

Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML

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joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

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jessefonsexy. - 07/12/2010 11:08 - United States

Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML

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Sneaky

TasedAndDazed - - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

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Kitchen nightmares

Anonymous - 12/07/2022 02:00

Today, I walked into the kitchen and found a friend of my sister's stripped down to just her panties changing her clothes. In the kitchen. She had the nerve to call me a peeping Tom and slap me. Why was she even here without my sister, and why couldn’t she use the bathroom to change? FML

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justno - 29/06/2014 00:26 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

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It was an accident!

innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

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joseph_rod_05 14

Sunday 6 August 2023 17:06

epic fail

JackWood 20

Sunday 6 August 2023 16:52

Apparently she wasn't there to see you. That leaves only one other. Let's put one and one together equals lesbians.

JackWood 20

Sunday 6 August 2023 16:52

Apparently she wasn't there to see you. That leaves only one other. Let's put one and one together equals lesbians.

joseph_rod_05 14

Sunday 6 August 2023 17:06

epic fail

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 6 August 2023 17:24

That's the least interesting question here. If you could detect a human form in the kitchen, how come you couldn't distinguish between your fiancée (that's how it is spelled) and your sister? Is their similarity an indication of some kind of incestuous urge? How drunk were you? Is your sister chipping in for food or is she mooching off of you?

BurnInDemonFire 35

Monday 7 August 2023 23:29

My guess is she was hanging out with your fiancée, it got late, and she was given the chance to stay the night. Then around 2am she was thirsty, so went to the kitchen to get a drink but left the lights off so as not to disturb your fiancée. Call me Columbo.