Spiders, Scary Animals SPIDERS!

SPIDERS!

Anonymous - - United States

Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Creeped out

NotASpiderMan - - United States - Seattle

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

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Demon child

PeanutlyDisabled - - France

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

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Snek

snakeboy - - Australia

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for God knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowingly drove it around. FML

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Neil Diamond was wrong

LucyLollipop -

Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML

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Bad boy

Shiva - - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

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Caught off guard

dooommage - - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

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Brain fog

FlyingCoffeeMonster - - United States - Oreland

Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML

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Customized

gss - - United States

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

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Hang in there

ouch - - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

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New nickname just dropped

Anonymous - - United States - Midland

Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML

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bethan1 4

Sunday 31 October 2010 12:42

For some reason I read this as "I found a pregnant sister" it was way cooler that way.

Lounia_fml 8

Sunday 31 October 2010 15:05

At 18 :P

Sparkiee93 3

Sunday 31 October 2010 16:34

Spiders don't give live birth? They lay eggs?

hitmanoo 16

Sunday 31 October 2010 16:42

this fml is bullish!t.

EnterSandman_fml 20

Sunday 31 October 2010 16:53

Spray spiders with Axe. They shrivel up almost instantaneously. It even works through screen windows.

SettoFail 9

Sunday 31 October 2010 16:56

I would die I ******* hate spiderd

mandycandy1288 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 17:02

this post is making me very nauseus. spiders being pregnant and squishing? yuck!!

Sammara 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 17:12

I think your best bet, at this point, is to get a runty pig and name it Wilbur. Maybe he can help convince the spiders to do something useful, like write things in their webs. You could be wealthy beyond your wildest dreams, and open a Pig and Spider Sanctuary with your newfound wealth!

robc32ca 4

Sunday 31 October 2010 19:45

and when Scarlet gets pissed at Wilbur she can spin a web Pork $2.50/pound

SamSayzRAWRZ 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 17:50

YLS because I'm SOOOOO afraid of spiders :-/

julian1179 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 17:53

spiders don't get pregnant, they lay eggs, if they where to be pregnant, that would make rem mammals, yet they are arachnids.

flirtyfaery 7

Sunday 31 October 2010 20:57

So every animal that gives birth to live young is a mammal??? hmmm. Go check your facts about that one.

LetsRollOut 2

Sunday 31 October 2010 21:32

Agreed. Example: Sharks give live birth and they're fishies. (:

Seddah 3

Tuesday 2 November 2010 22:47

Echidnas and platypuses lay eggs and they're mammals. Knowledge fail.

starile 19

Sunday 31 October 2010 18:20

How can you tell when a spider is pregnant?

iheartglasses 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 18:21

116, go back and take Zoology in high school. Not everything has to be a mammal to give live birth. Some snakes and sharks give live birth. Im not saying insects do, but Im saying youre wrong in your statement :)