Kids, Family, Pranks Fight Patsy - FML

Patsy

Anonymous - 28/04/2022 12:00

Today, my brother ran in, handed me a spatula, and told me to stand still. Barely a second later, our sister came tearing in the house with a fresh, raised welt on her ass cheek in the shape of said spatula, saw me holding said spatula, and kicked my ass up and down the house until I escaped. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Ninja skills

Anonymous - 28/08/2022 22:00

Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML

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bloody hell - 04/06/2015 05:59 - Philippines - Para?aque

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

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Affectionate, huh?

littlemiss - 10/02/2013 16:17 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

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Morning!

Anonymous - 15/01/2020 00:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, my sister woke me up panicking saying our kitchen was on fire, and we had to leave. She practically dragged me out of bed and all the way to the front door. When we got outside, she suddenly kneed me in the nuts and went back inside, locking the door behind her. I was only wearing boxers. FML

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NaomiMadison - 30/07/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

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Right in the snowglobes

Anonymous - 29/09/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom - Tilehurst

Today, my sister kicked me in the balls just before I went into the bathroom, as she wanted to use the shower first. Later, when I came out of the bathroom, she kneed me this time in the same spot because apparently I always make a mess in the bathroom. FML

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Anonymous - 27/12/2014 20:53 - United States - Tucson

Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

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MereLewis95 - 26/10/2011 08:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

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Served cold

Anonymous - - United States

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

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Are you ready to ruuuuuumbbbbbble?

Mr.Incognito-san - 19/11/2020 02:02

Today, I heard my sisters fighting downstairs, so I went down to see what all the commotion was about. As I entered the room, one of them picked me up and threw me at the other one. FML

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RichardPencil 30

Thursday 28 April 2022 16:08

Plot twist: the siblings are all in their sixties.

Rozay333 36

Thursday 28 April 2022 15:01

Wouldn’t your sister know it wasn’t you once she was just ya know..chasing your brother?

Rozay333 36

Thursday 28 April 2022 15:01

Wouldn’t your sister know it wasn’t you once she was just ya know..chasing your brother?

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 28 April 2022 16:08

Plot twist: the siblings are all in their sixties.

JaneSimple 26

Friday 29 April 2022 5:03

How exactly were you able to see your sister's ass?

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Friday 29 April 2022 7:44

Presumably she was suntanning in a bikini or something.

Grumpy Jack 26

Tuesday 7 June 2022 20:26

Cet revenge. Chase tour brother with said spatula and beat him up !

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I got severe diarrhea while out dancing with friends. On my way home, I got hit with the urge again. I couldn't find an open toilet and I had to resort to relieving myself in an alley. FML

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Today, four months after my crush told me he liked me, a day ago he told me he’d lose his job if he dates me, so he's now blocked me and avoids me when we work together. FML

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Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML

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Today, I was listening to my iPod while changing the diaper on my baby. One earbud fell out of my ear and onto the changing table so I quickly picked it up without looking and put it back in my ear, only to realize the headphone had fallen onto more than a table. I now have brown earphones. FML

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Today, I learned that Nyquil has such an amazing effect on me, that it won't even allow me to wake up to go to the bathroom. FML

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Today, it's job interview day. In the elevator on the way there, I overheard potential candidates talking about the boss of the company, mocking his alleged lack of credibility. Who's the boss? Me. They don't know that yet. FML

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