Intimacy, Geek, Sex, Weird Movies Oddly specific reference

Oddly specific reference

Anonymous - 20/03/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend whispered, “Grond will breach it” into my ear, all sexy like. I had no idea what he was on about, so when we were done screwing I looked it up. Grond is a battering ram from a deleted scene in Lord of the Rings that smashes a gate open. Just why? Nerd. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Gamers rise up

jokersgirl - 21/05/2019 04:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML

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LOTRfail - 27/07/2012 02:13 - United States - Malden

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

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Anonymous - 21/09/2011 13:17 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

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thanks, fuckface - 16/11/2012 19:42 - United States - Parachute

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

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single - 10/11/2010 02:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

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Let me Slytherin

Wisconsin love - 13/12/2010 17:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

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Dungeons and Dragons time

Anonymous - 27/11/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was at work with my boyfriend. I was being playful and recounting something that had happened in my D&D session the night before. I imitated the roar from the dragon that the DM had done, and midway though, the postman walked in with a delivery. He walked back out without a word. FML

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Thunderstruck

myasshurts - 14/10/2011 23:03 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

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Anonymous - 07/11/2012 15:44 - United States

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

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Gamer watch

kristajoy2001 - 01/09/2019 00:02

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. All of the sudden, he whispered in my ear, "Do you want to hear a Minecraft joke?" FML

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Thaylok 17

Thursday 20 March 2025 20:22

Grond is a MASSIVE fricking* Battering ram. He was trying to imply his penis* is also massive and would destroy your "gates". Nerdy? yup. Appropriate? Not really.... Creepy? Absolutely!

stickyface 16

Saturday 22 March 2025 13:06

Grond isn't a reference from a "deleted scene"; The Lord of the Rings is a book trilogy, dear. If you value your nerd, do try to keep up.

Thaylok 17

Thursday 20 March 2025 20:22

Grond is a MASSIVE fricking* Battering ram. He was trying to imply his penis* is also massive and would destroy your "gates". Nerdy? yup. Appropriate? Not really.... Creepy? Absolutely!

stickyface 16

Saturday 22 March 2025 13:06

Grond isn't a reference from a "deleted scene"; The Lord of the Rings is a book trilogy, dear. If you value your nerd, do try to keep up.

FluffythePink 23

Sunday 30 March 2025 12:54

As a Tolkien nerd, I laughed harder than I should have at this. Next time just pat him on his 'battering ram' and tell him "Grond did good". Or get yourself some elf ears and a pretty dress and watch Grond explode...