Dramatic Entrance Fail By FML Approved - 01/08/2017 03:28 It's not easy being cheesy... I agree, your life sucks 575 You deserved it 210 Share Tweet Share
Today, my neighbour's kitten got run over, so I bought her chocolate as comfort food. When I gave it to her she joked, "Now I'm going to get fat." It was at that moment that my brain stepped out and my mouth took over and I heard myself say, "You deserve it!" FML I agree, your life sucks 2 433 You deserved it 880
Today, I learned that my neighbor of 9 years has a kid. I learned this after I knocked down his snowman. FML I agree, your life sucks 5 362 You deserved it 4 078
Today, an attractive woman looked in my direction and smiled. My wife saw this and stomped on my foot, and I screamed like a little girl from the pain. People turned and stared. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 114 You deserved it 945
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 575 You deserved it 17 516
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML I agree, your life sucks 14 664 You deserved it 27 082
Today, I found out that yet another woman I was interested in is nothing but a addict. All the women I've tried to date for 3 years now have turned out to be fucked up in some major way. Why can't I just find a non-loser for a girlfriend? FML I agree, your life sucks 719 You deserved it 934
Thank god the garage door was in the way, mom might have been just another statistic from being run over.