Health Food Nature calls

Nature calls

anon - 27/07/2023 22:00

Today, my idiot boyfriend, who thinks he's an outdoorsman, made sauce from mushrooms he'd foraged. I refused to eat it. He got upset and had two helpings. He's now in bed, whining about how bad he feels. Stupid dumbass. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Sounds like a keeper

ManChildBF - 03/03/2022 18:00 - United States - Loveland

Today, my boyfriend came home and demanded dinner. I started suggesting things, but he threw out that we should just fend for ourselves. I made pasta and offered him some, but he decided to throw a fit and go to bed at 6:30pm without dinner. He then woke up at 9 to complain he was hungry, then slept on the couch. FML

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Thanks wasn't given

Anonymous - 25/11/2023 18:00

Today, my boyfriend is pissed at me for giving everyone food poisoning right before the holiday and ruining the weekend. He’s the one that forced and berated me into using the nasty expired ingredients in his mom’s kitchen, even though I knew better. FML

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Petty quibble

Time wasted - 18/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend spent forty minutes making pasta sauce when we had a perfectly good jar of pasta sauce in the pantry. FML

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Survival mode

Anonymous - 28/09/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend scolded me for asking whether he’d like his favorite soup for lunch when he was, "in absolutely no shape to survive ingesting food." Two hours later he's greedily digging into an almost expired pack of cheap and nasty supermarket waffles from out of his bag. FML

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Too much of a good thing

tryingtoberomantic - 28/09/2019 14:00 - Australia

Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML

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aeris - 11/11/2018 09:30 - United States

Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. They prepared dinner for us - mushroom pasta. I have always hated mushrooms, so I spent the entire dinner trying not to gag. Unfortunately, I did gag and my mom got up and smacked me so hard I fell out of my chair. FML

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Chuck E. Cheese awaits

mama’s boy - 31/10/2019 00:01

Today, I realized just how spoiled and immature my boyfriend is when I asked him several times what he’d like for dinner. Getting no answer, I made steak, potatoes and salad. He then sulked and refused to eat it, since he wanted spaghetti and meatballs instead. FML

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Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

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Grossed out

vomiting - 07/03/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend took me home to have dinner with his parents. I couldn’t eat a single bite after watching his mom let her three dogs taste all the food off her hands, while she also licked her own fingers while cooking. Later on, he dumped me for being rude and “too high maintenance." FML

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Cook out

zazadudu - 23/12/2008 06:47 - France

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he came up the stairs, "Stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the trash. We'll eat sandwiches. FML

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ass 11

Thursday 27 July 2023 22:27

He needs to go to the emergency room immediately if he's still alive

Ellimac21 14

Thursday 27 July 2023 22:11

What did he say ? "I promise hone, these mushrooms are perfectly fine! Look they look so tasty, all red with little white dots!"

Ellimac21 14

Thursday 27 July 2023 22:11

What did he say ? "I promise hone, these mushrooms are perfectly fine! Look they look so tasty, all red with little white dots!"

ass 11

Thursday 27 July 2023 22:27

He needs to go to the emergency room immediately if he's still alive

cuz803 44

Thursday 27 July 2023 22:54

Honestly, I cannot date people who blatantly subject themselves to stupid circumstances. You said it yourself, "stupid dumbass". Can't tell you what to do but maybe you should break up with him. I sure as Hell broke up with my idiotic low IQ gf years ago and my life has been less frustrating ever since.

OzzieAnna 2

Friday 28 July 2023 1:29

he's lucky he's still alive. dump.him. next time he'll put it into your food without telling you.

FluffythePink 23

Saturday 29 July 2023 23:27

You really should get him to the hospital and take a sample of the sauce if there's any left. Some fungi attack the kidneys and liver and it's a slow, horrible way to go... If he's ok then I, personally, would dump him for being effing stupid enough to try for a Darwin Award. If you decide to keep him, then for the love of all that is holy, do not breed with him.