Miscellaneous Jumpy

Jumpy

Chelsea - 21/04/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

almost_a_pro - 23/04/2015 13:43 - Brazil - Rio De Janeiro

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

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Catching strays

Anonymous - 04/06/2024 13:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, I heard something that sounded like a series of gunshots outside my house. My Dad screamed, "Get down!" at the top of his lungs. The whole family immediately dropped to the floor, my sister whimpering and trembling, only moments later to hear my Dad cackling uncontrollably over us. They were just fireworks. FML

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Badass

Jim - 28/10/2025 22:00

Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML

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Doofus

Pete - 28/09/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to make popcorn in the microwave but forgot to remove the plastic wrapper. The kitchen filled with smoke, the fire alarm went off and my neighbors came knocking to see if I was alright. When they asked what caused it, I had to admit that it was “Erm… popcorn.” FML

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Nice…

MexyBoy - 11/06/2019 16:08

Today, I wanted to do something nice for my mom. So, while she was sleeping, I cleaned the whole house for her and even made her breakfast. A few minutes later, she came downstairs and yelled at me to keep it down because she was trying to sleep. FML

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Confusing

frenchpop1960 - - United States

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

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Safe space

lI. - 13/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I was on a Zoom call with my therapist and we were discussing my PTSD. He assured me that I was safe and no one would burst into the room. Just then, my mom burst into my room and started screaming about dirty dishes. FML

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Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

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Oh no, the fun police is here

We're still popping them - - United States - Fremont

Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML

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Private freakout

emmy - 03/06/2022 00:00

Today, the neighbors called the cops on us because they heard a series of loud screams. No, no one was being murdered, but my mom found one of my socks in the laundry room. FML

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shaBAMalex 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 16:04

Calm down. Lol.

nomadxx7 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 16:05

Gunshots =/= popcorn Come out the country. I'll show you what gunshots sound like

xalexrulesx 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 0:16

WOW, U WIERDO. U MUST THINK THAT THE SOUND OF THE SINK RUNNING IS LIKE A ROARING WATERFALL. XD.

itsame123_fml 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 0:20

ouchh

yui567 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 0:22

wow, it's pretty hard to mistake popcorn for gunshots. i wouldn't wish PTSD on anyone, but if you don't have it you need to learn to relax.

KiwiBlu 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 0:38

Is that even possible? Popcorn...for gunshots.

KiwiBlu 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 0:40

Ahahaha, #27...

NGM_KID 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 1:02

#124 made me laugh for some reason :D if this is true, i can just imagine you screaming like a dumbass!!

Azwethinkweiz78 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 1:15

what would your father say to that

BrokenPsycho 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 1:21

Ummm ur an idiot nd i dont believe u cuz a gun shot iz like 20 times louder than pop corn

BrokenPsycho 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 1:23

nd to all the people saying move out of the ghetto she doesnt live there losers becausse she would no wat a gunshot sounds like

Kaileigh 6

Wednesday 22 April 2009 1:26

Something is wrong with you that you think popcorn sounds equal gunshots. Is this the first time you've ever heard popcorn pop? SERIOUSLY.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my dishes smelled so perfume-y after going through the dishwasher and a clean glass of water tasted soapy. I checked the pods my husband bought and loaded into the dishwasher to make sure we never got that brand again. They were laundry detergent pods. I was essentially a millennial eating a Tide Pod. FML

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Today, my wife, in all seriousness, told me she believed I am autistic. With all due respect to autistic people out there, WTF? FML

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Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML

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Today, it was one of those rare occasions I wore shorts. The first thing my male cousin said was, "Why so sexy?” Misogyny is why I don’t wear shorts. FML

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Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

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Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML

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