Jealousy, Public freakouts Transportation Jerk - FML

Jerk

GogglesGoggles - - United States

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 24/11/2013 23:19 - Canada - Surrey

Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML

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Say it, don't spray it

... - - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

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Who are you?

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

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There was an attempt…

JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

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Paranoid

MaddyN - - United States - Forest Grove

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

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Method acting

hannahk267 - - United States

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

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Renegade

Anonymous - 23/04/2023 06:00

Today, my man got arrested for starting a fistfight with a cashier who wouldn't let him smuggle out groceries without paying. It gets worse; two weeks ago he got arrested mugging a guy at a gas station, and he's still on bail. FML

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Limited edition prank

Anonymous - - United States - Hopkinsville

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

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I'm OK!

MAC. - - Canada - Toronto

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

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Creeped out

emoney - - United States

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

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newburton13 26

Monday 23 December 2013 15:59

The male ape will protect anything it deems his with great prejudice to any potential competitors. In other words, dude has serious self-esteem issues or a very unhappy girlfriend.

Schiffy 18

Monday 23 December 2013 16:37

Look, it's the generic "I was totally there and you can't prove I wasn't because I'm a random person on the internet" comment.

sirlancelot 3

Tuesday 24 December 2013 8:57

Damn it must've really hurt to get punched in the subway. Can't say I've ever been hit there, but it sounds painful.

Vintage_Cola 29

Tuesday 24 December 2013 10:15

That sounds more like an FML to him FYL and FHL

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 24 December 2013 17:58

Better than a consistent nod... Well I think your probably slow reaction gave the point that you were not staring...

rockhead1270 5

Wednesday 25 December 2013 16:15

Are your glasses broke

Bcfrmkc816 17

Thursday 26 December 2013 13:29

Hope you punched him back and stood your ground with him. And I would have told him she isn't worth looking at anyway. Hope you aren't to badly bruised.

kyraincolorguard 3

Thursday 26 December 2013 16:34

Did you punch him back?????

doglover100 28

Monday 10 February 2014 23:51

F her life.

sbdaruler 1

Monday 5 May 2014 11:53

You shouldnt have been sleeping with your face pointed in her direction! Lol!

Imstilldreaming 12

Thursday 5 February 2015 5:40

Who sleeps on the subway??

fantasyworld 37

Saturday 14 November 2015 3:35

I feel sorry for you and her.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I took my parents up on their invitation to spend Thanksgiving with them. My 3 year-old daughter refused to get out of the car and insisted on waiting there. When asked why, she said, "I don't like Grandma because she's mean to Daddy!" Not only did my parents hear, we haven't told her he, my husband, passed away 4 months ago. FML

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Today, I found out that my partner intentionally acts like she sleeps through our baby's cries in the middle of the night, just to force me to do all the late night feeds and diaper changes. FML

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Today, I have my new iPod Touch, and I'm walking down the street. Since it's really cold, I'm wearing gloves. At some point, I want to change the song, and don't want to remove my gloves. I try changing the song with my nose, for about 3 minutes, until I realize I look really stupid. FML

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Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML

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Today, I was sitting next to this cute guy on an airplane who I had started talking to. There was still an empty seat between us and it seemed like there weren't any more passengers boarding the plane. I then asked out loud, "I wonder if anyone will sit between us?" He replied "I hope so." FML

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Today, I had to pick up my brother and his girlfriend from the bar at 2:00am because they were too drunk to drive themselves and had no money for an Uber. Five minutes into the ride, they started going at it in the back of my car. I don't think I'll be doing favors again. FML

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