Love, Gross Parents Impressive - FML

Impressive

Anonymous - 01/01/2010 00:06 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp came up from my throat, and not only that. A small chunk of mucus flew out and landed on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Smells like teen shit

great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

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Nervous gas

Anonymous - 11/04/2023 03:00

Today, I was out to dinner with my boyfriend and his parents. It was my first time meeting them, so I was a bit nervous. As we were talking, I accidentally let out a loud burp. His parents looked at me in shock, and my boyfriend just laughed and said, "Well, she's certainly comfortable around you two." FML

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The trumpets of doom

Anonymous - 15/12/2024 15:00 - Belgium - Merendree

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML

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impatient amy - 27/01/2009 14:23 - Ireland

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

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herANDi - 03/04/2009 06:10 - Canada

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I'm already a clumsy person but became extra clumsy because I was nervous. After knocking over my drink for the fourth time, my boyfriend's mom angrily shouted "Did you actually come drunk for the first time meeting us?" FML

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Unloading

thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

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Confuddled

Anonymous - 18/10/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I met my boyfriend’s parents for the first time. I got nervous and tried to say, "Nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you!" when I should’ve just said, "It’s nice to meet you." To make things worse, it came out as, "Nice to hear you, I’ve met a lot about you." FML

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perfectman - 12/06/2012 10:34 - Australia - Sydney

Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML

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Felicia doesn't approve

uneek_3225 - 22/10/2009 05:53 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

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anon - 16/03/2015 04:10 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

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ceceisgay 0

Friday 1 January 2010 9:18

..ew.

alexandraa_fml 0

Friday 1 January 2010 9:35

Should have just thrown in the chewbacca moan/growl for good measure.

mylifekicksass 0

Friday 1 January 2010 17:09

LMFAO:P

_Niccc_13 0

Friday 1 January 2010 17:31

HAHA ! sad... and gross! haha... but nvm =))

FarSide 22

Friday 1 January 2010 17:41

A simple Aloha would have been sufficient...

manicrose 3

Friday 1 January 2010 18:03

ew

SeximusPrime 0

Friday 1 January 2010 19:01

You're too disgusting for him. How can you not feel a burp coming?

Spider_fml 9

Friday 1 January 2010 19:59

Don't feel bad, the first time I met my ex-boyfriends mother, I was having sex with her son. We never did get along.

purplekites 0

Friday 1 January 2010 20:05

thats gross i hate girls that burp fart etc. and im not girly myself, i just feel like you shouldn't do it or keep it to yourself ydi

BrownSugar_fml 5

Friday 1 January 2010 20:32

Everyone burps and farts.... I'd never had mucus come out because of either. Are you sick?? That's gross and I'm so sorry.

purplekites 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 2:22

not in public. trust me.

BrownSugar_fml 5

Saturday 2 January 2010 7:58

True, that's embarrassing

andrei_btz 0

Friday 1 January 2010 20:57

jokezzz

sexpanther10 0

Friday 1 January 2010 21:40

auggh.. I just read this story and threw up everywhere.. DAMN YOU!!

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

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Today, I realized that what I thought for years was my country's National Anthem, is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML

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Today, while I was using the bathroom at work, I heard someone come into the stall next to mine and start talking. Thinking they were on the phone, I stayed quiet… but then they said, “I know it’s you, Jennifer.” My name isn't Jennifer. I had to sit there in silence until they left, pretending to be someone else. FML

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Today, I found out why my boyfriend of over a year is so obsessed with cleaning his entire place before I come over. He's been hiding the ex-girlfriend who never moved out. FML

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Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML

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Today, I shaved my penis and balls. When my girlfriend saw, she said, "You look like my little brother." He's 6 years-old. FML

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