Dogs, Furniture Animals Get down!

Get down!

miss Suzanne - 14/09/2010 21:46 - United States

Today, I got a brand new couch. My husband told me to keep our puppy off of it so we could keep it nice. She jumped on it, and as I picked her up to put her back on the floor, her claws dragged across it and ripped two of the cushions. FML

26 620

9 698

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Bad boy

lukey101 - 27/03/2023 16:00

Today, my puppy celebrated a milestone by lifting his leg to pee for the first time. Too bad it was up against my brand new soft fabric couch. FML

658

188

Ninja!

Anonymous - 13/09/2019 06:02 - Australia - Perth

Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML

1 795

120

Bad doggo!

Vicky - 22/09/2024 14:00 - Australia

Today, I came home to find that my dog had destroyed my couch. The worst part? He buried his plastic toy bone inside the wreckage, so he clearly thinks this is his new personal sandbox play pit spot. I'm afraid to get a new couch and put it in the same place. FML

335

147

Home invasion

Brad - 05/07/2020 20:01

Today, I woke up and got out of my room to find two pit bulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML

1 947

132

Where did you guys come from?

Brad - 04/07/2021 21:59 - United States

Today, I woke up to find two pitbulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML

1 085

This is mine now

K……y - 06/09/2024 16:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my new couch was delivered. As the delivery guys left, I came back into the living room and noticed a bad but familiar smell. I turned the couch cushions over to discover that my cat had already claimed it as her personal litter tray. The return policy doesn’t cover "cat defilement." FML

224

472

Thanks, I hate it

anonymous - 25/08/2016 02:33 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I got a brand new down comforter and duvet cover that I really liked. I'd finally managed to put everything the way I wanted it, and then my roommate's dog came and peed all over my bed. FML

11 898

902

jonboy - 09/05/2009 20:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a new comfy duvet and pillow and was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I got into bed and was followed by my dog, who then threw up the tub of butter he had just stolen from the kitchen onto my brand new bed spread. FML

47 804

5 278

This is why we can't have nice things.

Anonymous - 29/09/2017 20:00

Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML

3 222

452

Good boy

akasoor - 11/02/2013 01:51 - Canada - Hythe

Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

30 348

5 974

WiseGuy79 14

Wednesday 15 September 2010 1:33

It ripped through the fabric?? Is your pup a damn wolverine? lol

1337chick 4

Wednesday 15 September 2010 1:26

Turn the cushions over! :)

debois1202 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 2:45

dayum that sucx

kierstinlynne 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 2:56

that totally sucks, damn.

Ioannes 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 2:59

You should've PICKED it up instead of dragging it across the new couch...

chocolatejuggalo 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 3:01

owned by dah doggie.

lotuspod 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 3:10

agreed 43 that was a fail but watching someone make a fool of themselves = priceless

drawing_a_blank 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 3:17

What did you expect? It's a puppy!!!

XBCX96 4

Wednesday 15 September 2010 3:21

1. trim the dog's nails every once in a while, it actually works 2. flip the cushions over

QwertyMcNugget 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 3:25

Oooooooops. :]

TropicalTulipz 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 3:27

smooth lifting

jojobeanz 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 3:28

haha ydi ever herd of clipping ur pups nails

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went to the pool. As I started going up the steps to use the water slide, a kid no older than 10 yanked my swim trunks down to "see what's down there." FML

46 213

3 406

Today, my dad started openly playing favorites among his kids, just to start drama. I had to warn my little sister - the favorite - that he was using her senior photos to do it. I'm gonna kill him, and get her a better dad. FML

757

148

Today, I learned that just because the cute barista at the train station smiles, waves at me each time I arrive, and develops small talk, probably means she's trying to sell me pastries. The smile she had when I asked for her number, and the way she said, "Nah" still haunts me. FML

2 489

1 638

Today, while emailing my very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, my hand slipped. Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML

42 345

11 511

Today, after driving 3 and a half hours to the nearest major emergency room, waiting 7+ hours to see my grandfather's bowel cancer specialist, we were told to go back to our hotel. Why? The triage nurse never logged my grandfather into the system, so his doctor went home at 9.00 p.m. when he'd finished theatre. FML

1 289

Today, I was talking to my parents when all of a sudden my dad started freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is that he was dead serious the whole time. FML

27 630

2 485