Sex, Frustration Intimacy Cover up

Cover up

this_is_fucked - 24/10/2009 21:23 - Zimbabwe

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

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Not now, mom!

Anonymous - 28/09/2020 18:02 - United States - Gillette

Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML

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yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

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Gratitude walks

Anonymous - 06/02/2021 16:01 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, my sister slept with my boyfriend while I was at work providing for the both of them as well as our child. I let her move in after our mother kicked her out. FML

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Horndog

Anonymous - 25/04/2021 08:01

Today, despite giving my sister a place to stay while she's in town for a funeral, she demanded I give a bedroom to her son to have to himself, because, "How am I supposed to have 'sexy time' with my husband with him in the room?" Everyone's sharing rooms, and no one's getting sexy time as someone literally died. FML

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Venus - 26/04/2019 20:00

Today, despite the fact that I live with my parents and pay rent, my mom decided the best spot for my brother, his wife and one-year-old son was my bedroom. So I'm sleeping on the couch, because it would, "take too long to clean her room." FML

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Twisted

sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

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nomorecleaning - 16/03/2013 12:17 - United States - Augusta

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

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Quality family time

Thanksalot - 30/11/2013 05:58 - United States - Edinburg

Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML

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Beggars can't be choosers

I'm grown, damnit! - 21/06/2023 18:00

Today, my mom won't let me have the extra hotel room she booked all to myself, even though it's just me, her, and my sister. Basically I can share a room with her or with my sister, but I can't be alone. I'm 23. FML

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lahp 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 3:24

lol ... hey get laid then... there are tons of geeks on this website alone tht are desperate to get laid .. just read above :D

Bloodknight 22

Sunday 25 October 2009 2:35

Haha wow your mom is awesome!

jchansfan 0

Monday 26 October 2009 7:03

Ummm... Who cares? I don't like these FMLs that are all "Today, I realized my sex life is pathetic. FML."... I mean really, who's fault is that? Plus isn't your lack of someone special lamer than your lack of sex? Just saying, its kinda sad how many lonely people can only think about the lack of sex, maybe that's why you're single? lmao

Tickle_Me_Kiki 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 0:37

Thats so totally normal. Just accept it.

kstorm 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 12:14

If I were you I'd be kicking my sister's ass for sleeping with my ex that's just not cool

baby_gurl2405 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 20:39

whats the walk of shame for?

TehOnionUser 0

Friday 4 December 2009 17:30

OMG, like if sex is the only thing in the world, don't care about them. And your sister is pretty disrespectful person to you, if she sleeps with your ex. Get good friends and better fun than sex, the right man will come.

RichardRocks 3

Tuesday 23 February 2010 13:31

Sorry for U. BTW, your mum wasn't with your dad right?

fernando1980 0

Monday 1 March 2010 22:18

hell yea !!! get some

xshadyshadow 0

Wednesday 12 May 2010 22:34

Vibrator. By one.

Jim9349 10

Thursday 3 June 2010 3:47

"Submitted from Zimbabwe" WTF? Nice.

crazymunkees 2

Wednesday 23 June 2010 11:52

1 QUESTION: who is her mom sleeping with?? "walk of shame"? I do not get this FML, unless they're saying Today, I realised my sex life sucks FML. Note: I know someone already said that, I'm not trying to be original I'm just trying to say SERIOUSLY