Sex, Frustration Intimacy Cover up - FML

Cover up

this_is_fucked - 24/10/2009 21:23 - Zimbabwe

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

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Not now, mom!

Anonymous - 28/09/2020 18:02 - United States - Gillette

Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML

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yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

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Gratitude walks

Anonymous - 06/02/2021 16:01 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, my sister slept with my boyfriend while I was at work providing for the both of them as well as our child. I let her move in after our mother kicked her out. FML

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Horndog

Anonymous - 25/04/2021 08:01

Today, despite giving my sister a place to stay while she's in town for a funeral, she demanded I give a bedroom to her son to have to himself, because, "How am I supposed to have 'sexy time' with my husband with him in the room?" Everyone's sharing rooms, and no one's getting sexy time as someone literally died. FML

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Venus - 26/04/2019 20:00

Today, despite the fact that I live with my parents and pay rent, my mom decided the best spot for my brother, his wife and one-year-old son was my bedroom. So I'm sleeping on the couch, because it would, "take too long to clean her room." FML

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Twisted

sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

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nomorecleaning - 16/03/2013 12:17 - United States - Augusta

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

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Quality family time

Thanksalot - 30/11/2013 05:58 - United States - Edinburg

Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML

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Beggars can't be choosers

I'm grown, damnit! - 21/06/2023 18:00

Today, my mom won't let me have the extra hotel room she booked all to myself, even though it's just me, her, and my sister. Basically I can share a room with her or with my sister, but I can't be alone. I'm 23. FML

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lahp 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 3:24

lol ... hey get laid then... there are tons of geeks on this website alone tht are desperate to get laid .. just read above :D

Bloodknight 22

Sunday 25 October 2009 2:35

Haha wow your mom is awesome!

TAST3MYRAINB00Wx 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 1:37

FIRST YDI for not trying to get anyy

fakepolice 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 1:44

well I don't think Mrs. Jergens will ever turn you away...

aghoogha 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 2:02

this is exactly why you should get yourself a dog or a horse.

Simone88 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 2:11

wow...maybe u should start lookin for someone.

benisajosher 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 2:05

You suck.

EwahWeeWah 21

Friday 20 May 2016 1:18

No, if she did then she wouldn't have this problem :)

Bloodknight 22

Sunday 25 October 2009 2:35

Haha wow your mom is awesome!

lahp 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 3:24

lol ... hey get laid then... there are tons of geeks on this website alone tht are desperate to get laid .. just read above :D

mikes45 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 5:04

wow....lmfao

JassyJas 2

Sunday 25 October 2009 5:08

wow......

DynamicDave 11

Sunday 25 October 2009 5:37

Wait...how would you making it look like your mom had slept in her bed keep her from doing the walk of shame?

DaPolack1984 0

Friday 29 April 2011 21:12

ya didn't get that either.

mooshibear140 4

Thursday 23 June 2011 16:23

Yeah I don't get it. If she got some and people found out then she wouldn't be ashamed, would she?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant. He laughed and said, “April Fools, right?” then left the room, still laughing like it was the dumbest thing ever. Tomorrow's April Fools day. I really am pregnant. FML

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Today, a customer yelled at me because the cherry pie he bought had cherries in it, and he wanted a refund. FML

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Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

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Today, I posted on Facebook about a cooking mishap I had. My fiancé and ex then spent the next hour trading stories of my other kitchen disasters in the comments. FML

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Today, my husband and I agreed that he would name our first born and I would name our second. He's dead-set on naming our child "Raindropp" no matter whether it's a boy or girl. FML

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Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me for not getting the driver's info. FML

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