Miscellaneous Common sense

Common sense

blob - 21/02/2013 00:32 - United States - Framingham

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect." I need this class to graduate. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

megan - 01/04/2015 17:56 - United States - Lutz

Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML

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siikman313 - 12/09/2011 21:37 - United States

Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

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Anonymous - 10/01/2016 10:35 - United States - Pittsburg

Today, my mom said if I dont get straight A's in my classes this year, she'll get the school to hold me back until I do. I believe her. FML

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anonymous - 01/06/2009 07:05 - Korea Republic of

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

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Self-confessed dumbass

Byepax - 06/03/2015 14:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom found out I'm failing three classes. Now she won't let me go to a convention I bought passes for weeks in advance. Each pass was $45, and I bought 2 more for my friends. You do the math on that, because I apparently can't. FML

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Cantswim - 20/05/2009 15:45 - United States

Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML

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Not so Karate Kid

Matthew - 09/03/2020 19:00 - United States - Juneau

Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML

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AwkwardPotato - 02/07/2013 02:37 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML

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Pump it up

Anonymous - 12/05/2023 12:00 - Australia

Today, I'd signed up to try a workout class at the gym. However, as soon as the instructor started the class, I realized it was much more intense than I had anticipated. I ended up passing out and had to be carried out of the class by the instructor. FML

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LiveGuard - 28/03/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML

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zandalee 19

Thursday 21 February 2013 10:06

Sounds like your Mum needs some common sense and intellect!

luminos_ 9

Thursday 21 February 2013 10:07

How about you tell your mum you need this class to graduate?

fantasyworld 37

Sunday 24 April 2016 15:13

Op's probably in high school and needs his parents permission.

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Today, I got excited because my husband will be away for 5 days, which means I'll be able to deep clean the house. FML

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Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

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Today, I was at the library, and had finally found the book I'd been looking for, when a man approaches me, says "The main character dies at the end", and walks away. FML

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Today, I pulled up to a drive-thru speaker and my brain misfired and I said, “Thanks, I love you!” to the employee after she handed me my order. She replied, “We just met, but okay dude.” I put my food on the passenger seat and quickly scuttled off in my busted ass Toyota. FML

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Today, I found out nobody in my family wants to come to my college graduation. I spent four years and $60,000 to be the first person in my family to go to college, and nobody wants to see me graduate because the four hour ceremony is "too long." FML

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Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

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