Sex, Awkward Intimacy Big kid - FML

Big kid

Anonymous - 08/09/2012 14:20 - United States - Rhodes

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

30 417

5 729

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 17/08/2012 13:31 - United States - Newberry

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

34 469

6 902

Anonymous - 24/08/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

37 441

7 171

Honky

Anonymous - - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

27 527

5 250

Spice it up

Jan - 13/10/2025 20:00

Today, my husband came home, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me to the bedroom. Furious, I shrieked to be put down and demanded an explanation. He said, "I thought you wanted us to be more spontaneous…" Apparently, that means he should treat me like a sex toy. FML

100

827

The language of love

disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

30 976

6 547

Anonymous - 25/02/2012 03:07 - United States

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

13 096

61 437

dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

32 757

5 672

Suave

Quiet is sexy - 03/04/2025 23:00 - Romania

Today, my husband whined that our sex life is terrible. I agree. I wish he'd stop killing the mood with crappy pickup lines and crude innuendos every time I act even slightly receptive towards him. It's like he turns into a 14 year-old the second I kiss him. FML

340

149

Anonymous - 26/12/2013 17:27 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

42 693

5 825

sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

42 733

9 316

iseyixes 18

Saturday 8 September 2012 20:12

Return the favor grab his junk and make squeaking noises.

perdix 29

Saturday 8 September 2012 20:28

You should have farted after he honked your boob and said, "Oops, faulty valve."

CeltHound 14

Saturday 8 September 2012 22:49

Another reason not to get married!

jewelsa 4

Saturday 8 September 2012 23:13

Lucky girl.

LauraChristie 4

Saturday 8 September 2012 23:21

Winning!

green2go 14

Saturday 8 September 2012 23:43

That funny I don't care how you are lmfao

SoultheWolf 19

Saturday 8 September 2012 23:45

Some men are so immature. My fiance loves to squeeze my boobs too, but it doesn't bother me, nor does he make stupid immature noises to it. Your best bet is to try and talk it a little more through to him, try and make him understand.

RentaName 15

Sunday 9 September 2012 0:13

Loosen up a little bit OP. He was just joking. Maybe you just blow up a little too easy.

HSOMGF 5

Sunday 9 September 2012 0:42

Your husband is a loser. Time to upgrade.

Atlanticcowgirl 4

Sunday 9 September 2012 1:53

sounds like my house... ugh some guys

klx125cross 9

Sunday 9 September 2012 2:59

Grab his balls and do the same thing

mylith 3

Sunday 9 September 2012 3:20

lol. your husband is awesome.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, a guy was hitting on me when I was at a café. I told him I was married, but it didn't deter him, so I told him to go away. Later, my husband came home from work with his boss for dinner and sure enough, it was the same guy who was hitting on me. Suffice to say, it was one awkward dinner night. FML

1 245

73

Today, I realized that every time I play video games, my wrist and elbows always end up hurting so badly from holding my controller/handheld games. I always have to apply bengay and wear braces. Arthritis is creeping up on me harshly, and I’m still young so this sucks. FML

728

446

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML

48 764

3 301

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

12 090

46 272

Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML

55 964

4 706

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

48 202

5 610