Miscellaneous

Bon appétit, boys

By Anonymous - 14/04/2025 20:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 138

Beliefs

By OnTheReceivingEnd - 13/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I made the mistake of disagreeing with a friend I'd known and cared about for 25 years. The disagreement? She wanted me to believe the exact same way she did. I treated her with dignity and respect for her beliefs, even though I didn't agree with them, but I didn't make that a requirement. She did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 109

NIMBYs all over

By Anonymous - 13/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I spoke out at a town hall about the lack of affordable housing. I was called a “Marxist” and told to “Move to Canada” by a guy who was vaping and wearing a “Don't Tread on Me” shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 133

Jumpy

By nearly20yetasfearfulasatoddlerhavingnightmares - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Allen

Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 588

You deserved it 9 331

Party pooped

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, it was my Sweet Sixteen. Only two of my friends showed up, and they spent the whole night texting their boyfriends. After several failed attempts to do something fun or even get them to talk to me, I got up and left the room, and didn't come back. They didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 98

Kinda vague but oddly specific

By sheslayedgames - 11/04/2025 16:00 - United States - Powell

Today, you talked loud enough for me to hear you calling me the bad guy, while we’re in the same house. The walls are paper thin. After 19 years, I find out our friendship was a lie? That you used me just to make my parents happy? And I find out now, three weeks before I move out? This is beyond hurtful. I can’t take this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 153

You're welcome!

By phonegotlostinthepark - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 514

You deserved it 4 219

I hate shopping

By Kelly - 11/04/2025 00:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried a polo neck sweater on at a store, and when I tried to take it off, it got stuck halfway over my head. I panicked and tugged harder, only to realize I was now stuck inside, unable to get it off. A store employee finally saw me struggling and came help me. I'm never going back there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 107

Feed me and shut up

By a fatty - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 803

You deserved it 36 642

What did you expect?

By Overzealous cop of the day - 10/04/2025 06:00 - United States - New York

Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 1 458

Bathroom breakdown

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I used the public restroom at a park. After washing my hands, I went to dry them, only to realize there were no paper towels. I thought the air dryer would work, but it broke halfway through, leaving me standing there, awkwardly fanning my hands with my arms spread wide. A group of teenagers walked in and started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 312

I don't know what I'm doing

By louise - 09/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store and used the self-checkout for speed. Everything was going fine until I tried to weigh a watermelon. The machine beeped every time, but the price didn’t show up, just an error message. I tried to weigh it again and again, until an employee came over, sighed, and said, “That’s a cantaloupe, not a watermelon.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 505

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 079

You deserved it 3 654

Nil - nil

By Anonymous - 08/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I got into an online debate about reproductive rights, healthcare, gun laws, and education in the US, all in one thread. Someone told me, “This is the greatest country in the world.” I asked, “Based on what?” He blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 298

Brother in law enforcement

By Sunshinenwhiskey - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Dallas

Today, I found out why my sister hasn't been answering my texts or phone calls. Her husband blocked my number on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 192

You deserved it 1 053

Curb your curb

By Anonymous - 07/04/2025 09:00 - United States - Boulder

Today, on my way out of a coffee shop, I tripped over a curb while holding a full cup of coffee. The coffee flew in slow motion, hitting a stranger right in the face. As I stood there, frozen, I realized the puddle of coffee was now surrounding both of us. All I could do was apologize while trying to avoid a public fistfight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 104

Lose-lose

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my mother has been seeing my maths teacher. I'm still failing his class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 496

You deserved it 8 024

Cool cool cool

By Chris - 06/04/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I saw my ex and his new girlfriend walking towards me. To make things less awkward, I tried to be cool and give him a high five. He misjudged and went for a fist bump. I ended up slapping his hand, and it felt like it lasted forever, all while she just smirked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 321

Just another day

By Anonymous - 06/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I went to buy oat milk and got caught in an active shooter lockdown at the store. Oh, America, the only place where plant-based dairy is more accessible than mental healthcare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 132

The golden cousin

By Anonymous - 05/04/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I went to a family reunion and made the mistake of wearing the same shirt as my cousin, who is known for always wanting to be the center of attention. She took one look at me, pointed, and said, “Oh, I see you’re copying me now, huh?” Then, my aunt overheard and said, “Well, she is your cousin, so it’s not like it’s a crime.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 65

Naked truth

By Gerry0 - 05/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 416

I hate hiking now

By Anonymous - 04/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to take a cute selfie on a hiking trip. As I leaned against a boulder to get the perfect shot, a squirrel jumped out of nowhere and attacked me, probably thinking I was after its food. I dropped my phone into a creek, and my friends took a picture of me freaking out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 432

Mucky

By Anonymous - 04/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I discovered that my body wash bottle's top came open last night without me realizing it. Space is limited in my bedroom so the only place I could put it (I live with my parents and they can be absentminded) was behind the TV. The good news is it didn't get on the TV; the bad news is it's all over the stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 368

Stir crazy

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 18:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, even if I clean the whole house, my husband refuses to wash dishes if I cook, as I “use too many”, because when he cooks he only uses one pot. His “cooking” is dumping all the week's leftovers into a pot and calling it “stir fry.” It’s disgusting and he’s the only one that eats it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 98

Oh hi!

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I was at a theme park with an old friend. We were standing in line when she reached into my shorts and pulled my thong so high it was almost to my shoulders. It would’ve been fine if I didn’t see my boss behind us in line who saw the whole thing. She waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 122

Cozy

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 88

Speech! Speech!

By Olivia - 03/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Monterey

Today, I had to give a speech at my sister’s wedding. I spent weeks preparing every word. When it was finally my turn, I stood up to the microphone and froze. Instead of something like, "Congratulations, I’m so happy for you both," I mixed up whatever jokes I'd prepared in my brain, and blurted out, “I’m in love with your husband.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 486

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 218

You deserved it 4 089

Regular occurrence

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my family’s usual Sunday dinner turned into a shouting match over politics. My uncle called me a “brainwashed socialist,” my cousin accused me of being a “capitalist pig,” and my grandma just sat there eating pie, which made me want to call her a "fence-sitting centrist", which is when I realized that maybe we shouldn't ever talk about politics again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 470

Never enough, never

By Anonymous - 02/04/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after I took my mom her favourite wine, a card, and an expensive orchid for her conservatory, and also spent all Saturday afternoon with her and took her out for lunch, what did she post on Facebook? Her disappointment that I didn’t spend Mother’s Day with her on Sunday because I was working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 68

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, it's been 5 years since I had a high paying job, the opportunity for promotion, and work on a project in the field I have wanted to work in since I was a kid, as well as a budding social life. How am I doing now? It's been 5 years since I first became nearly bedridden with a debilitating illness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 72

Today, at work, our new chef managed to start a grease fire. We couldn’t put it out because he managed to splash the flaming grease onto the fire extinguisher. Yes, we couldn’t put out a fire because our fire extinguisher was on fire. The fire department guys just laughed and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 112

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 182

You deserved it 5 818

Today, I found out that what I thought was "acne" is actually an allergic reaction to a cream I've been using for years. I thought the cream was helping me with the breakouts but my doctor says the real acne probably went away naturally years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 511

You deserved it 2 507

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 366

You deserved it 843

Today, I fall for a guy after 3 years of being celibate, after he shows all the signs of being into me. Turns out, he likes my best friend who is dating another guy I liked and was just using me to compensate for her unavailability. Guess I am really a walking, talking example of Murphy's law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 243