Weird, Awkward and Miscellaneous: You OK dude? - FML

You OK dude?

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML

agreeclassic 34 057

vote type 1 3 521

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

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By Creeped Out - 29/05/2017 18:00

Today, I went to the grocery store. As I was checking out, I went to grab the same item that the cashier was reaching for. He brushed my hand. He then both watched me creepily and asked my what lotion I used to make my hands so soft. When I left, he said, "I'll dream of you." FML

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By EmbarrassedChild - 30/07/2015 23:24 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

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The Conquest of Bread

By Anonymous - 26/04/2021 11:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML

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By beckbm23 - 21/11/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

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By Lizofsmeg - 11/05/2012 05:03 - United States

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

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Time to run

By Anonymous - 13/03/2012 06:21 - Canada

Today, while I was looking for an apartment for my boyfriend and myself, he asked me how would I feel about his mom moving in together with us. FML

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Stolen valor

By Anonymous - 08/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, at the grocery store, I saw a woman rubbing her belly lovingly and said, “Aw, congratulations!” She replied, “On what?” There was no baby. Just bread. FML

agreeclassic 89

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External validation

By Anonymous - 09/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:40

Doughnt let him in your house!

LightningLadyy 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:46

That's not how you feel the bread.. You caress it like it is a beautiful woman.

Comments

ChristyCarnegie 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 1:43

That's from ratatouille lol. .

vanillatwilight6 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 2:05

that is so wierd i feek bad 4 u

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Sunday 16 January 2011 2:27

He's going to start FEELING your food if you don't do something.

xcrystal011 2

Sunday 16 January 2011 2:29

HAHAHA that's pretty funny!!!! xD

krez 20

Sunday 16 January 2011 2:47

FYL for not having a sense of humor.

ilovepandaz 2

Sunday 16 January 2011 2:47

block the door dont let him in

ashleyXoXoXo 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 3:37

wow I would freak If he moved in with me u should tell ur mom or suttin cuz hes a feak and could malest u in ur sleep :/

FMLephant 2

Sunday 16 January 2011 6:14

In the case of the state vs. Ashley, the court finds you guilty of the murder of the English language. You are sentenced to death by firing squad.

yesiyes 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 16:57

it was shown that the word "suttin" used in New York..(their slang) ^^

doctorpantalones 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 3:56

HAHAHAHHAHAHA FYL

goaliemkl123 8

Sunday 16 January 2011 4:16

I don't see the issue.

TheCaptain88 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 4:52

Sounds like your going to have a crumby time.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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