When it's cold outside By Lewis - 12/12/2018 18:00 It's duck cold! I agree, your life sucks 255 You deserved it 63 Share Tweet Share
Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML I agree, your life sucks 13 711 You deserved it 45 111
Today, while buying laxatives and really hoping the cashier wouldn’t make some snarky comment, the cashier said, "You know, that’s not a good way to lose weight." I had to explain to him that I’m actually constipated. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 080 You deserved it 112
Today, my son is still single in his forties, so I asked him about it. Turns out, because he has his buddies and doesn’t want kids, he hires a house cleaning service twice a month and prostitutes twice a week, so he can’t think of any scenario in which a wife could improve his life. FML I agree, your life sucks 177 You deserved it 659
Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 003 You deserved it 5 662
Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 680 You deserved it 2 517
Today, I bought a 3 lb bag of pears. The first two bites were delicious! The third bite revealed a worm and its thousands of eggs. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 539 You deserved it 232