When I try to quit junk food By Lewis - 08/12/2018 18:00 I'm not a quitter! I agree, your life sucks 282 You deserved it 94 Share Tweet Share
Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML I agree, your life sucks 22 433 You deserved it 9 020
Today, I tried a new sugar scrub soap that's supposed to help get rid of cellulite. I didn't read the instructions correctly and now as well as still having the cellulite, my butt looks like I got a massage from an angry cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 8 742 You deserved it 34 832
Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML I agree, your life sucks 33 056 You deserved it 6 110
Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 708 You deserved it 13 972
Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML I agree, your life sucks 11 597 You deserved it 57 314
Today, my friend explained to me that the toilet paper in his bathroom is "just for show." Now I know why his hamper smells like shit. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 822 You deserved it 137
Yup that's me when there is white chocolate in the house 😋