When I try to quit junk food By Lewis - 08/12/2018 18:00 I'm not a quitter! I agree, your life sucks 282 You deserved it 94 Share Tweet Share
Today, two weeks after my wife of 3 years caught me screwing her sister in our bed, and she disappeared to her mom’s and refused to take my calls, she came home to get her stuff. Apparently on the night I cheated, she was about to tell me she was 6 weeks pregnant with my baby. She left for the two weeks to get an abortion. FML I agree, your life sucks 207 You deserved it 4 600
Today, I told my daughter her mom was busy fighting aliens, so I wouldn’t have to tell her that her mom is just a shitty, self-absorbed bitch, who doesn’t deserve kids. FML I agree, your life sucks 831 You deserved it 1 109
Today, a man came by with a large drink and sat next to me in the bus terminal. In all his wisdom, he tried setting it between the seats. Naturally, it spilled all over me. I now have to sit with a soaked pair of pants and a wet carry on from Nashville to Atlanta. The bus trip is 5 hours long. FML I agree, your life sucks 18 088 You deserved it 1 201
Today, I hugged my dad. Since I don't hug him very much, he was confused. When I pulled away from him, smiling, he slapped me, saying the smiling and the hug made it look like I was "up to something." FML I agree, your life sucks 47 082 You deserved it 6 875
Today, I went to get my blood drawn to see how far along I am pregnant. The lady stuck both my arms twice and then busted a vein in my right arm. She told me to come back tomorrow to try again. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 135 You deserved it 2 475
Today, my dad asked me to help him buy a laptop by searching online. He explicitly said, "When you have time." I decided to shower as I had just woken up. While showering, I was startled by loud banging and my dad angrily asking why I wasn't looking for his laptop. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 771 You deserved it 151
Yup that's me when there is white chocolate in the house 😋