When I try to quit junk food By Lewis - 08/12/2018 18:00 I'm not a quitter! I agree, your life sucks 282 You deserved it 94 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was screamed at by a girl, all because I wore a pride-themed Mickey Mouse shirt. Apparently, I’m supporting “hypocritical capitalist freaks” who profit off LGBT people, yet support anti-LGBT legislation. Also, she commented about my Starbucks drink, another “anti-LGBT company.” I can’t win. FML I agree, your life sucks 810 You deserved it 381
Today, after losing five pounds from being sick, my first customer at work greeted me with, “Aaaahhhh, you’re expecting!” I’m not pregnant. I guess I didn’t lose my gut. FML I agree, your life sucks 440 You deserved it 133
Today, it’s my birthday. It’s 2:30 pm, and my parents are still sleeping while I watch television with my dog. I’ll probably also have dinner with my dog. Happy Birthday to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 930 You deserved it 171
Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML I agree, your life sucks 65 815 You deserved it 9 526
Today, I was rejected from the college of my dreams. I am now the only kid in 5 generations on my dad's side and 3 on my mom's to not get accepted and go to this school. FML I agree, your life sucks 23 946 You deserved it 3 524
Today, after a 2 month relationship, I realized two things: A) Dating a known psycho because "crazy chicks are great in bed" is a dumb idea, and B) What crazy chicks are actually great at is beating the crap out of you and driving you to alcoholism. FML I agree, your life sucks 16 076 You deserved it 33 104
Yup that's me when there is white chocolate in the house 😋