When I try to quit junk food By Lewis - 08/12/2018 18:00 I'm not a quitter! I agree, your life sucks 282 You deserved it 94 Share Tweet Share
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML I agree, your life sucks 70 612 You deserved it 689 055
Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML I agree, your life sucks 42 444 You deserved it 7 906
Today, I had numerous calls from people saying they need a baby sitter, because "they know I wasn't invited anywhere". FML I agree, your life sucks 32 356 You deserved it 2 679
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 541 You deserved it 18 732
Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 230 You deserved it 3 698
Today, my boyfriend and I went to see his 72-year-old mom who just had minor surgery on her abdomen. When we asked how she was healing, she lifted up her nightgown to show us a bruise near her belly button. She wasn't wearing any underwear. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 226 You deserved it 3 581
Today, I went out with two new friends. While we were talking, they said that their mother had called them to go home. Later on, I saw them in the main square, hanging out. I wasn't creepy or disrespectful, and I don't know why they did it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 054 You deserved it 134
Today, I tried to flirt with a guy at the gym by commenting on his headphones, saying, “Nice headphones, you must be into music.” He stared at me blankly and said, “I’m not wearing any headphones, these are just my ears.” I swear I heard him laugh as I backed away, defeated. FML I agree, your life sucks 107 You deserved it 503
Yup that's me when there is white chocolate in the house 😋