Intimacy Twit to who - FML

Twit to who

Hooty - 02/09/2015 21:52 - United States - Groveton

Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

movingout - 26/01/2013 23:50 - Australia - Ringwood

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

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SleeplessInSoCal - 09/08/2010 06:18 - United States

Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML

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Anonymous - 02/07/2016 04:17 - United States - Hayward

Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML

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Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

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anon - 15/09/2012 05:35 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

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tireedddddd - 25/11/2011 16:24 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

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YELP!

Anonymous - 19/04/2022 12:00 - United States - Brookline

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I had always thought my bedroom wall was soundproof, because my old neighbours never complained about my loud night terrors. Turns out they were just stone deaf. The new ones can hear everything. FML

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STOP!

Anonymous - 28/09/2021 20:00

Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML

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Hummmmmmmmm

SleeplessInDenver - 02/09/2019 06:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I moved into my brand new apartment, only to discover that there is an annoying, constant hum coming from the ceiling above my bed. FML

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Everybody needs good neighbours

Anonymous - 11/07/2020 17:02

Today, I live on the second floor and my neighbor from below banged on my door, telling me I sounded like a giant elephant and needed to learn to be quiet. I was eating ice cream in bed. I also live alone. FML

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Coland 19

Thursday 3 September 2015 12:36

Your aunt seems like a real night owl.

idk_rose 25

Thursday 3 September 2015 12:34

This is awkward...

thisduckinguy 8

Friday 4 September 2015 11:47

Sounds like a hoot

Catapitter 0

Sunday 6 September 2015 8:30

People who suffer from debilitating migraines tend to avoid noise as if it was the plague not open their window to let it in. Just sayin.

not_a_name_123 3

Sunday 6 September 2015 15:46

Not always. Google it. Not every migraine is affected by sound.

fettslaab 16

Thursday 10 September 2015 15:43

Focus, Poster, focus!

vb68_fml 28

Thursday 10 March 2016 3:40

This is not hawkward. Aunts have sex.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML

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Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML

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Today, my boyfriend left his laptop open, signed into a chat program. I learned why he started working out and eating right. Not to look good for me or be healthier. No, he planned his entire diet and exercise plan so he could shoot the biggest loads possible during "goon sessions." FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML

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Today, a male friend of mine tried to kiss me. When I shoved him away and demanded to know what the fuck he was doing, he said he didn't think I was really a lesbian because I went on a date with a guy. Once. Over 15 years ago. FML

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Today, my ex-fiancée's new boyfriend phoned me to ask what her ring size is. FML

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