Intimacy: Turn off

Turn off

By seriously - 02/10/2010 20:31 - United States

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

agreeclassic 32 942

vote type 1 4 453

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Similar FMLs

By Kwalker3 - 06/05/2012 06:39 - United States - Tracy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

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By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

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That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

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Sexy catboys rule my life

By verno02 - 10/08/2010 23:58 - Canada

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

agreeclassic 36 149

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By zamwow - 20/12/2013 23:36 - United States - Ridgefield Park

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

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So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

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Actor's Studio

By darthmilfious - 31/03/2010 07:56 - France

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

agreeclassic 13 693

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By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 16:09 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

agreeclassic 27 397

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Not now, Yoda

By iwassoclose - 10/04/2013 16:32 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML

agreeclassic 55 813

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Not feeling it

By thisisstupid_17 - 16/11/2016 14:47

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

agreeclassic 12 872

vote type 1 1 373

bigbadtim 7

Sunday 3 October 2010 0:02

That's baaaad!

Richisme 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 0:01

The Animal, tis' in us all.

Comments

writergirl23 19

Friday 20 July 2012 7:44

Hope he was wearing protection

Squirrel1256 15

Monday 17 September 2012 3:26

Like a baaas!

Lord_Sony 9

Wednesday 12 December 2012 18:45

I do think that's funny

guitarst1071995 12

Thursday 22 August 2013 16:05

I'm gonna try that

NotUnique 15

Tuesday 12 January 2016 20:26

I laughed way too loud at this in my office.

WeegeeFMLNerd 6

Monday 15 August 2016 4:35

20 minutes? Thats good, OP

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I found out that the little red dots all over my body aren't some horrible disease like I originally thought. They're bedbug bites. I've managed to not notice a huge infestation for 5 months. FML

agreeclassic 3 532

vote type 1 1 150

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

agreeclassic 37 030

vote type 1 9 987

Today, I discovered my mom has been using my credit card to buy everyone's Christmas presents. FML

agreeclassic 49 093

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Today, I learned that my new boyfriend seriously thinks that Inglorious Bastards is historically accurate and is actually the secret history of World War 2 being revealed to the public. Nothing I say will make him change his mind. I guess that relationship is a goner. FML

agreeclassic 3 121

vote type 1 383

Today, I realised I get really attached to characters in long-running TV shows, because I have no friends. FML

agreeclassic 776

vote type 1 166

Today, I asked my parents to babysit my kids for an hour so that I could visit the doctor for my asthma, which has worsened over the past two days. Apparently I'm a bad mother, and it's OK if I stop breathing, but shouldn't leave my kids to go out alone. My husband was at the gym the entire evening. FML

agreeclassic 1 351

vote type 1 149