Animals: Today, our dog peed on nearly all the wrapped gifts under our...

@rulezdunmatter #143/141 - Thanks! I hope to see more FMLs from me too. My previous 99 FMLs only got seen by the moderators (anyone who clicks "Moderate the FMLs" at the top of every page here).

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 060

You deserved it 6 843

Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 83

Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 302

You deserved it 1 381

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 442

You deserved it 9 303

Today, I realized that my husband's preferred sexual activities not only don't require me to take off my clothes, but go much better for him when I don't. He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 271

You deserved it 456

Today, we have everything we can want: money, a house, two lovely kids, and great family relationships. My husband just asked for a divorce. He wants to blow all this up because we haven't had sex in over a decade, even though I gave him permission to masturbate to porn years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 1 619