Love: Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility...

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML

agreeclassic 49 690

vote type 1 7 334

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By JhKhS - 14/09/2009 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML

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By cclllc - 14/08/2012 09:06 - United States - Weatherford

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By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 07:30 - United States - Rockville Centre

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 05:18 - United States

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By hellostupid - 28/03/2013 08:19 - United States

Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML

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By Anonymous - 03/04/2013 13:32 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

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What is it, sweetie?

By WTF - 16/01/2013 07:52

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

agreeclassic 42 596

vote type 1 4 360

arela 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:08

give it away give it away give it away now

under_estimated 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

i would just give the turtle away

Comments

SouthernGrl94 14

Monday 26 March 2012 16:08

release andre

Midnightpearls 13

Friday 13 April 2012 17:19

Sell him on eBay.

Dothewiggleyeah 0

Wednesday 25 April 2012 2:55

-_-

jmcr 27

Thursday 25 October 2012 21:08

You can always sell it to someone else if you dont want it

LaLince 40

Saturday 1 December 2012 6:32

Turtle soup tonight

xxEternalRain 13

Tuesday 1 January 2013 0:26

Either sell him or dump him at your gf place

Sir_Swaggington 6

Wednesday 5 June 2013 15:54

But my turtle died :(

octaviamarieb 18

Monday 2 September 2013 22:40

sell it?

krabbyrapist 12

Sunday 3 November 2013 17:58

hagel hitler

cwl727 32

Saturday 22 March 2014 4:31

You will learn to love the turtle.

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Alas, poor Donatello

What is it, sweetie?

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