Kids: Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing...

By applesmama - 17/09/2011 04:36 - United States

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

agreeclassic 30 488

vote type 1 4 689

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By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy." Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML

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By Eringobrag88 - 27/06/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

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Charming...

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By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

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By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

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By mom - 26/01/2014 04:29 - United States - Spring

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

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Pride and joy

By Anonymous - 07/11/2025 00:00

Today, my toddler finally used the potty for the first time. I was so excited, I FaceTimed my mom to show her. My kid then proudly picked up the potty bowl and dumped it on my lap. FML

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Shidding and farding

By Anonymous - 07/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML

agreeclassic 1 131

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underguarded 20

Saturday 17 September 2011 12:07

At least she's correct.

Hockey_fan 0

Saturday 17 September 2011 12:11

Shoulda been "Grab daddy a beer" ....he missed the opportunity

Comments

profligatesoul 18

Thursday 4 April 2013 4:05

Memorable first words

Blue_oreo 12

Saturday 2 July 2016 8:49

That's kind of awesome though :)

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