Animals: Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle...

By Aaron - 26/08/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML

agreeclassic 16 643

vote type 1 56 042

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By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

agreeclassic 48 545

vote type 1 3 363

Been here long?

By Anonymous - 14/10/2022 14:00

Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML

agreeclassic 942

vote type 1 171

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

agreeclassic 10 524

vote type 1 28 656

By Anonymous - 08/04/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

agreeclassic 94 161

vote type 1 244 024

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

agreeclassic 24 299

vote type 1 14 273

By OuchImAMoron - 29/11/2013 02:05 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

agreeclassic 44 463

vote type 1 46 741

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

agreeclassic 1 364

vote type 1 469

By Anonymousagb - 24/04/2009 15:18 - United Arab Emirates

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

agreeclassic 28 975

vote type 1 92 192

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

agreeclassic 12 497

vote type 1 3 188

By NotSpiderman - 31/10/2012 17:09 - United States - Edinburg

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

agreeclassic 24 708

vote type 1 4 625

rockr_chick 5

Thursday 26 August 2010 11:56

OMG poor kitty :(

wisericky 12

Thursday 26 August 2010 12:01

the cat over-lords are angered, this act of war will not go unpunished!!

Comments

cloudygirl5 16

Tuesday 4 September 2012 18:07

U murderer!

kimiko100 0

Tuesday 2 October 2012 7:42

Your an awful person

smoshiee 8

Sunday 7 October 2012 22:58

You have no idea how much I hate you now.

selectiveamnesia 9

Saturday 9 February 2013 13:08

This made me laugh so hard.

Mamaluigi619 4

Tuesday 11 June 2013 5:55

jerk kitten hater

thes7274473 19

Tuesday 11 November 2014 17:10

Was it okay?!

johntrollson 11

Tuesday 23 December 2014 0:00

hey, "almost" killed it

rabidbunniez 12

Tuesday 13 January 2015 7:07

You are an asshole

LyricaSilvan 29

Friday 30 October 2015 11:06

Poor kitty. I hope it recovered.

a_pretty_potato 14

Thursday 21 January 2016 22:44

Awww poor kitty! :(

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Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML

agreeclassic 57 642

vote type 1 11 142

Today, we drove six hours to get to our holiday cottage only to realise that my girlfriend had forgotten her suitcase. This put her in a bad mood, so she made ME drive six hours back to her flat to get it, then when I got there, I realised HER keys to HER FLAT were still in HER handbag six hours back at the cottage. FML

agreeclassic 614

vote type 1 319

Today, I volunteered to be Auctioned off for Charity. I went for $3. FML

agreeclassic 42 491

vote type 1 7 258

Today, I was on webcam with my girlfriend, who was naked. She turned the webcam to point it at the screen for a second, and she was also on webcam with another guy. FML

agreeclassic 29 709

vote type 1 3 246

Today, my town had a carnival to raise money for cancer. I ran a kissing booth, when a really cute guy came up paid his $20, looked at me, and said "not even for cancer." He took his money and left. FML

agreeclassic 89 620

vote type 1 8 397

Today, I bought my dog a fancy bed shaped like a giant donut. He sniffed it, then crawled into the box it came in and fell asleep. He’s been snoring there for four hours now. FML

agreeclassic 187

vote type 1 305

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