Animals Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in...

benji - 01/11/2011 19:02 - United States

Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

Human! Come quick!

He got a lot of treats for that - 09/03/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 4AM to my cat clawing at my door and yelling at me. Normally I'd just wait until he stopped, but he was persistent, so I got up and opened the door to see what he wanted. He then corralled me to the laundry room. My dryer was on fire. Good boy. FML

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nocatlover - 21/01/2010 21:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML

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LET ME OUT

jynxisadouchebag - 27/02/2015 00:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was doing laundry, and decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

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Febreze time

catpeecathy - 14/09/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I was looking in my laundry basket for a clean tank top to wear. As I felt around, I realized that most of my clothes were still wet after two days. After asking my mom what was wrong with the dryer, I found out that for two days my cat had been using my laundry basket as a litter box. FML

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HannaMD - 26/01/2015 15:21 - Canada

Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML

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JeffeeBojangles - 28/02/2012 12:46 - United States

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

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Alas, poor Tiddles

SonOfACatKiller - 19/09/2019 08:00 - United States - Juno

Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML

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Clever

RyloGhyst - 12/12/2016 12:46 - United States - Killeen

Today, after putting the same load of laundry through the wash four times, I was wondering why my clothes kept smelling worse and worse. Turns out, my cat learned how to open and pee in the detergent funnel. FML

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A Caturday surprise

fucking cat - 02/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML

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Never Again - 09/08/2016 18:17 - United States - Riverhead

Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML

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SugarCrazy 14

Wednesday 2 November 2011 0:04

She threw it in the dryer, not the washing machine...

GRRSOM 7

Wednesday 2 November 2011 0:11

I think I'd be more afraid of you than that dryer... If I were that cat.

PiperWoods 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 5:54

The first sentence sounds awkward to me? I was hurriedly..?

bubo_fml 10

Wednesday 2 November 2011 5:59

"Happiness is a tight...well...Nevermind!"

LuisDaBeast_ 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 6:07

Lol for reals keep that to yourself man

line7 1

Wednesday 2 November 2011 6:14

Why? You like your pussy dry?

itsame0987 18

Wednesday 2 November 2011 6:30

Glad I scrolled down 117, I started singing that when I read the fml. Thank you for the laugh.

jlt9381 1

Wednesday 2 November 2011 6:44

Today, meow meow meow meow, mmmmmeow meeeeeeow meooooow meowwwww meow meow. FML

yeastybeans 5

Wednesday 2 November 2011 6:45

Was the cat at least clean?

tmrwisanotherday 1

Wednesday 2 November 2011 6:51

Has your pussy shrunk ?

jennawill10 10

Wednesday 2 November 2011 7:16

Is your cat still alive? Lol

GenyTrees 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 7:31

that what he/she gets for being a cat.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I found out that I fell in love with a diagnosed sociopath, which I didn’t know until I broke up with them though. The worst part is now that I know, I want to go back because I’m fascinated. FML

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Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

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Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

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Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving her boyfriend's nuts. Apparently, he'd snuck in through her window. FML

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Today, I had a conference with my dad, my counselor, and my history and English teachers because my dad was "concerned" about my grades in those two classes. We talked for a while and it was going well, then my counselor asked what I wanted to study in college. I said I wanted to be a teacher. He laughed. FML

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Today, my dad was stupid enough to think that the kitchen sink is a good place to clean a gas tank. Now, the whole house smells of gas fumes and I'm about to pass out. FML

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