To-Do List Blues By FML Approved - 09/10/2017 03:00 So much to do, so little desire... I agree, your life sucks 444 You deserved it 112 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 570 You deserved it 47 092
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML I agree, your life sucks 164 You deserved it 2 823
Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 568 You deserved it 3 476
Today, while at work, a customer gave me a $20 tip. I explained to him we aren't allowed to accept tips, but he insisted. When I called the manager to report it, he pocketed my tip. FML I agree, your life sucks 15 503 You deserved it 30 345
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 140 You deserved it 2 001
Today, after a little detective work, I found out the money that recently went missing from my college fund was transferred by my mother, to her own account. She claims it's to pay a parking ticket. Maybe I'm just stupid, but I didn't know they fined people over $3,500 for a parking violation. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 424 You deserved it 2 245
Today, I lost my dream job after a week, after being told, "When I hired you, I wasn't honest. I wasn't looking to hire an examiner, I wanted someone to replace me so I can retire in a year. I don't have time to train you for that." FML I agree, your life sucks 4 528 You deserved it 292
Today, after I got wasted about 5 months ago and lost my virginity to a total bitch I used to work with and regretted it straight away, this morning she texts me that she’s pregnant, and that I should probably get an STD screening because she also just found out she has gonorrhoea. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 452 You deserved it 2 141