Intimacy: Spread the word - FML

Spread the word

By JAY22 - 26/03/2009 11:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment. Things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another, and the next thing I knew, she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

agreeclassic 224 256

vote type 1 35 831

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By Ben - 25/01/2010 03:31 - United States

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

agreeclassic 20 300

vote type 1 47 743

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

agreeclassic 12 137

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By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

agreeclassic 48 680

vote type 1 86 794

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

agreeclassic 2 260

vote type 1 413

Feed me with your kiss

By Anonymous - 18/09/2021 08:00

Spicy

Today, while having missionary sex, my girl was reaching a climax. She kept screaming a bunch of things like, “Yes!”, “Don’t stop!”, “Keep going.” Well, at least until a giant booger fell straight from my nose into her mouth. Then the only thing she was screaming was that I needed to leave. FML

agreeclassic 1 946

vote type 1 822

By BDSM4Jesus - 20/01/2015 04:42 - United States - Pittsburgh

Spicy

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

agreeclassic 35 174

vote type 1 4 562

By WWJD - 01/03/2017 12:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML

agreeclassic 10 348

vote type 1 1 608

Jesus wept

By chicochico - 19/12/2008 16:05 - France

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

agreeclassic 58 358

vote type 1 7 045

Get the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 22:00

Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML

agreeclassic 903

vote type 1 127

Technicality

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:24 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Spicy

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

agreeclassic 39 393

vote type 1 3 741

Next

TOP COMMENTS

lolol182 4

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:00

ahahahahaha reminds me of the one where the girl said "forgive me lord!" when she came

Socrates_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:02

how did you answer/what happened?

Comments

cindylouwho5 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 4:49

well she has to know before you hook up

bsaucedo 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 23:24

awkward mcawkwardson !

doleofbob 0

Monday 25 May 2009 9:29

well tell her to keep on going retard

LA_Barbie 11

Monday 25 May 2009 14:25

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That is F-ing hilarious!!!

Tsuyoko_fml 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 3:17

AHAHAHAHAHA!! Poor you ... XD

Brentos 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 18:24

Should have just said "YES YES YES" as you jizzed all over her face hahaha

Hemlock420 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 21:27

What the ****?

AnnerNanner 0

Friday 5 June 2009 0:30

Hahahahahahahaha. If she was just being funny, that's funny. If she was serious, that's weirdddd. #250. Hilarious.

babychi 0

Friday 5 June 2009 14:07

#250 LOL.

tigerlilly34 0

Friday 5 June 2009 19:54

I hope you said yes so you could finish lol

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I found out that my wife has been getting rid of every single item of clothing I didn’t compliment her on. This has probably cost me thousands already. FML

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vote type 1 433

Today, after a long day at work, I walked into my room with the lights off and jumped on my bed. At least I would've if I haven't rearranged my room and instead face-planted onto my desk. FML

agreeclassic 11 109

vote type 1 4 820

Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML

agreeclassic 3 686

vote type 1 535

Today, I realized I was at a top quality ski resort when, while riding the lift, I counted three bras which appeared to have been thrown into the trees from the lift. My little brother counted eight. FML

agreeclassic 6 171

vote type 1 728

Today, I told my professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML

agreeclassic 54 812

vote type 1 4 075

Today, I went to the doctor's after over a week of feeling extremely tired and having headaches. His advice? "When I'm tired I drink coffee. You should drink coffee." Somehow, I don't think that was worth $60. FML

agreeclassic 20 714

vote type 1 1 594