October Spooks By FML Videos - 04/10/2018 18:30 Scare or be scared. I agree, your life sucks 267 You deserved it 71 Share Tweet Share
Today, I learned that the hardest part of marrying a historian is choosing baby names. His top choices derive from two Roman magistrates, two abbesses, a tenth-century author, and an obscure Greek official. I already let him name our pug, for whom he chose the name "Tertullianus." FML I agree, your life sucks 14 634 You deserved it 1 513
Today, my girlfriend screamed at me for throwing away her food, calling me a sick, controlling psycho. When I pointed out that the seafood pasta I tossed was a week old and almost certainly rotten, she dug the box out of the trash and ate it to prove a point. Now she's got food poisoning and somehow it's my fault. FML I agree, your life sucks 800 You deserved it 121
Today, I sent a screenshot of my ex’s new partner to my best friend with a caption saying, “She looks like a melted candle.” Of course, I sent it directly to my ex. He replied with, “She’s right next to me.” FML I agree, your life sucks 79 You deserved it 618
Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML I agree, your life sucks 17 863 You deserved it 59 377
Today, I tried carrying all my groceries inside in one trip. I succeeded, but also succeeded in tearing the handles, dropping everything, and rolling a can of soup straight under my neighbor’s car. Never trust cheap tote bags. FML I agree, your life sucks 173 You deserved it 380
Today, my dad tried to help me overcome my intense fear of horses (due to nearly being killed by one as a child) by taking me to a ranch. Within 30 minutes, a horse bit my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 018 You deserved it 480